Monday 31 December 2012

“GOTCHU”


                   “GOTCHU”


You must have heard about the famous animated character “Nody”. He was cursed by a witch, that whenever he would lie, his nose would increase by one centimeter. The poor chap couldn’t lie without getting noticed and finally his nose became very long. The group of wise men sat and decide that the only way to help Nody was to surgically amputate his long nose, back to its original size, on one condition if he promises he won’t lie again ever.

Nody was in discomfort because of his long nose, therefore the habitual liar promise to never lie again.


GOTCHU TRICKS

Nody could be caught lying red handed because of his nose, what about all the perfect liars, who lie on our face and make us believe what they say and by the time we realize our blunder it becomes too late for us to rectify our mistake.

So here are the “GOTCHU TRICKS” to catch such Nody.

First three comes from famous three monkeys of Mahatma Gandhi, who preaches, “See no evil”, “Hear no evil” and “Say no evil”. So whenever a person would lie, the body will try to stop him for committing this sin and would resist by causing an odd sensation of one of these sense organ, whether eye, ears or mouth and the person’s hand would automatically touching that part. Indirectly signalling us whether is hiding something or lying on our face.

The fourth is the Nody nose gesture, difference being that nose doesn’t increase in size but swells a little. The technology tells that human nose expands when he is lying due to increase blood flow; this is called “PINOCCIO EFFECT”. This lead to tingling sensation on nose and the person is compelled to relieve by gentle strokes on the nose.

And finally the fifth is the neck scratch gesture in which index finger of the writing hand would scratch below the ear lobe indicating the doubt and uncertainty of his words to its listener.

So next time if someone uses these five hallmark gestures,

MOUTH COVER,

EYE RUB,

EAR GRAB,

NOSE TOUCH and

NECK SCRATCH,

Be ready to catch him. {please rule out any allergies he is suffering from to make him grab his sense organs, for example frequent touching of nose in people suffering from allergic rhinitis.}


MORAL

Don’t you dare lie on my face, because I am no less than Sherlock Holmes Now?”


WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2013.

Sunday 30 December 2012

TRUE LIES


                                      TRUE  LIES


Whenever we are in any stressful circumstance, our body start to release neurotransmitters like nonepinephrine, which stimulate the hypothalamus in brain, which on other hand release the corticotrophin- releasing factor {CRF} which stimulate the pituitary gland and make it release the adrenocorticotropic hormones. These hormones act on adrenal glands {placed on the kidneys}. This gland finally pump in our body adrenaline which help us combat any dangerous situation; bring out the famous FIGHT –FLIGHT RESPONSE.

Apart from the heavy medical words, we know that we either fight or flight from the stressful circumstance and all thanks to our adrenal drive.


FEAR FACTOR


He seemed to be a very descent boy, sincere in his studies and among the rank holder in the class.  Fan of cartoon network and discovery channels, his only vice passion and therefore his whole day shuttle between his amusements and his studies.

This is how the story start that once upon a time, his school declared holidays for fifteen days mourning the death of their chairperson. Those days seemed as heaven for the boy. He got up late in the morning, have late breakfast and since his both parents were working enjoyed the independence to do his free will stuff like sticking to the television and playing games on his computers.

When his holidays were waning off, there came news of extension of holidays for four more days. The boy was very happy and parents were bewildered, that no school will mourn the death of their chairman on shutting down their doors and on expense of the studies of their pupils. But if it is so, than what can anyone do, thought his parents.

One day, among those days, the mother was not feeling well and decided to take leave from job. It was afternoon time and the boy was having his beauty nap and the mother was busy doing the piled up household chores.

Suddenly the telephone rang. Well it happen to be a normal phenomenon in people’s house but in this case the ring made the boy to jump up from his bed and rushed to pick up the telephone. But it was too late for him; his mother was already holding the receiver to her ears.

The boy started to sweat profusely and expression of fears painted on his face.

The caller was the boy’s friend mother and she asked about the health of his younger brother who according to him was seriously ill and was hospitalized and therefore forcing him to be absent from the school.

There was no such so called “death holidays” in the school and in fact the school chairperson was hale and healthy. The mother was shell shocked and couldn’t believe that her descent looking and sincere son could breech her trust so bad. The boy’s father was called immediately and both parents started to interrogate from him, about his unworthy act.

The boy had a tussle with his maths teacher over certain mathematical equations. The teacher scolded him bad for not paying attention. The things got worse or the boy imagined it worse that under the adrenaline drive, he decided to flee away from the situation and the best way is to lie. He lied perfectly and keeps his secret thoughts to himself and perfectly executed his covet operation until that fateful telephone ring.

His plan was to faint the memories by the passage of time.  But it totally crashed on his face.

He was scolded hard and his parents arranged the appointment with the principal. The matter was sorted out and the truce was declared with the maths teacher. The school councillor was assigned the duty to look over the case and the thorough counseling was done.

But no one in their wildest imagination would have imagined that the young lad held the potential to carry out such top secret plans and execute them with such thorough precision.


PHRENOLOGICAL LANDMARKS OF LIERS

So here I demark clues to spots these harmless and unexpected liars.

Thin upper lip

Little protrusion of lower lip, seems as if it is overlapping the upper lip

Small eyes

Broad forehead tapering into sharp, thin chin

Dramatic jaw {jaw oval at the angle of mandible and then sharply curve at vicinity of the chin}


MORAL

“Jonny! Jonny!”
“Yes, papa.”
“Eating sugar?”
“No papa.”
“Telling lie?”
“No papa.”
“Open your mouth.”
“HA!  HA!  HA!”

NOTE – be careful in believing your jonnies from now onwards.

Wednesday 26 December 2012

THE PERFECT THESPIAN


                           THE PERFECT THESPIAN


Maximum number of guys falls for those girls with baby like face and big eyes. They feel caring for them as their baby like face generates the fatherly love in them {and therefore it explains the nomenclature “baby” they use for their girls}.

 If you ask them about what is so good about their girls, this is what we hear, “oh! I can’t describe her doc, her smile is so beautiful, refreshing and so innocent” or “her eyes are so bright and big, I can see my whole world in it. And they believe each and every word I say with childlike innocence”.

But there is the deeper meaning in that innocence only smarter one can decipher it, but since when boys have become smarter in reading girls?

Answer is NEVER.


THE GIRL IN MY CLASS

As the story goes that in a renowned school of Delhi, there was the group of five friends which included two boys, the one called the gentleman or Gen {named because if his descent and generous nature} and other GV {his name initials and totally contrary to the first one, a total playboy, who had hit on each and every girl of the school and even if have been refuse by each and every girl still his spirit remains sky high}. The three girls were PJ, HPV and KT {name initials}

This girl HPV had a very tragic history and was the most sensitive cord of the group. Though belonging to the very rich family of Punjabi Bagh, she lost her parents in an air crash when she was thirteen and her divorced aunt became the guardian to her and her four years younger brother and took care of the family business.

Well it was very sad thing that happened to her and this was the thing that made everyone soft towards her especially the Gen boy.

Till the tenth standard her favors were small and to everyone in the group were ready to help but when they reach eleventh standard and started to feel the heat of higher studies and they started to get irritated with the frequent favors asked by HPV. Finally the girl starts to hear refusal except from the Gen.

It took her no time to figure out that his only hope was now the Gen. Though Gen was not head over heels in love with the girl but he tried to fulfill all her whims and fancies. He was merely sticking to the definition of friend.

The boy arranged for her coaching classes, helped her with her assignments, and did her experiments, for hours taught her the concepts of physics on expense of his own studies and what not. His friend GV tried to explain him that what he is doing is not good but it went on deaf ears.

One time, when their coaching class was postponed, instead of going home he hang out with her since she was waiting for her chauffeur to come back with the car to take her back to home. Their coaching teacher found them fooling around and complained boy’s mother about it. That night at home he had the scolding of the life time but still the spell by those magical innocent eyes couldn’t break.

One day the whole group decided to bunk school and just have fun. They went to the mall, saw a morning show movie and then had their lunch in Mc Donald’s. While on the way to Mc Donald’s, HPV stopped in the way and started to stare at the teddy bear in the window. Gen saw him looking at it with very desire full eyes. And when they all sat to have lunch there, he excused himself and drained his half pocket money to buy it and gifted it. She was happy as it works every time for her. She knows when Gen saw him, and all she has to do is to look needful and without even uttering the word from her mouth her wish is fulfilled.

And it was same when they were coming out of the mall, she looked at the flowers at the florist and she was immediately gifted with the bunch of red roses. Gen drained most of his pocket money at whims and fancies of the girl and definitely didn’t want her as her girlfriend.


THE “U” TURN

But as they say you can’t fool a person for long time and therefore Gen also had an eye-opener day when the result of their 11th standard was announced. Even though he was brilliant in studies he scored 56% only and the girl he tutored, who cried in front of him that she needed help with her subjects and presented the most pitiful face secured 86%.

He could have scored more if he would have not wasted time lecturing his friends over the phone and instead practiced over his weak subjects. But sometimes you learn the lesson hard way, like Gen.

He was angry and sad that he couldn’t stand erect on his parent’s expectations, but he thought in mind there always another chance and he will never lose it again.


PHRENOLOGY OF SLYNESS


Small eyes

Eyebrows seemed joining at center

Outer angle of eyes pointing upward

Curved head and the face ending in the sharp tapering chin

Dramatic jaw {oval jaw line}


EPILOGUE

The boy started to maintain distance from the girl. He didn’t break his friendship but limited his use for others. During his exams he switched off his mobile phone and utilized his free time in his weak subject, chemistry.

The girl on other hand seeing her only hope fainting away started to find new one. She limited her hang out with the old group and started to move in the circles of the topper of the class. Her magic even played on the teachers. She used her thespian qualities and in acted sickness during exams. Seeing her innocent face the teachers used to offer her seat near the door or the windows. When she opted door there was always an intelligent guy sitting near her who helped her answering the question paper or when she opted windows, she always had the chits to copy the answers.


MORAL

WE  SHOULD  ALWAYS  LEARN  FROM  OUR  PREVIOUS  MISTAKES.

Saturday 22 December 2012

SILENCE OF THE LAMB


                SILENCE OF THE LAMB


Have you heard about the happily ever after tales? Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow white, Sleeping beauty are the protagonists of the famous fairy tales. We hear about them, see their stories being portrayed on the big screen and with our innocent heart dream that we end up having their life. Do fairy tales really happen in this real world, is there any happily ever after exist in this cruel world?


THE TRANSIENT PHASE

Twenty six years back a girl was born in one of the city of Utter Pradesh. Few years after her birth her father died in a road accident. Her mother was young therefore it was decided by their family to remarry the woman.

The woman was married to a man in Delhi who had two sons from his first marriage and his first wife also had a tragic end. Family of five started their life anew. Their union added a new member to the family. Now to two step brothers and one half brother she was the only sister.

The kids grew up together. Her mother started to pursue few courses and finally started a small business with her husband. Luck favoured them and finally their small business converted into one big business house. The money started to pour in. Meanwhile the kids grew at their own pace with still strangeness between their relationships. Nothing was said but the odd air was felt around.

The girl reached the age of twenty three and they started groom searching for her. Though a graduate in one of the foreign language and with remarkable body and features she still lack confidence and choose to remain silent in condition of distress. I have never seen her getting verbal to her thoughts.

Finally she was married to a very rich business man son from south Delhi. The boy was very handsome and had just finished his MBA. He was suppose to join his father business soon after. It was big pool side wedding and the money was spent lavishly and a huge dowry was given. They went to Europe tour on their honeymoon.

Every friend she knew and every cousin she had saw this amazing marriage ceremony and with awe and little jealousy thought how lucky she was to finally get such a rich and damn handsome prince charming. They thought finally, it doesn’t matter how it started but it is ending into one of the happily ever after fairy tales.

Two months after she got pregnant and before her first marriage anniversary she had a charming cute and healthy baby boy in her lap. It seems surreal as if the happiness was pouring out for her from heaven.


THE REAL PICTURE

Well the things were not the way it seemed. After honeymoon the first shock she got was that her husband was not interested to go and handle his dad business. At first she thought that since they were newly married therefore he wished to spend time with her but later she realized that it was his life style.

All he did was to sleep till late in morning, get up at two or three in the afternoon and then after completing his chores and having lunch he used to get out of the house to hang out with his brat friends and then get drunk and came back home very late. She talked to him about it but it was futile. But when she started going to the office and showed interest in business, this also didn’t went down with her in-laws and seeing the tension mounting she herself backed.

Her mother – in- law used to give her husband sixty or seventy thousand rupees for his lavish lifestyle, completely the contrast to the minimal amount that she received and she was made to give records of when and where that was spend. To ask to go to doctor was the big deal for her, as she was always advice to try homemade remedies. She was not allowed to go alone anywhere and her visits to her mother’s house was limited, that too under surveillance. Her cell phone shouldn’t remain busy whenever they call her and in case it was busy she was asked the whole details of who she was talking and what was the matter being discussed.

After she had a baby, she thought that things would change but instead it got worse. Her husband brought home the German shepherd dog in the name of “standards of high class”. The dog was a total mess and increased the work load on poor girl. She didn’t utter any word. It was only when her son started to suffer from skin allergies because of the dog she objected her presence in the house. All her plight full words fell on deaf ears.

Water reached overhead when during a heated argument her husband slapped her. The explanation that she gave for this irresponsible behavior is that he was drunk. This happened twice. Though her in – laws objected the boy hitting the girl but at the end of the day her father-in- law kept on enlightening about the duties of the good wife.

Each and everything happening to her was not communicated back to her mother and they remained under the illusion that their daughter was enjoying her happily ever after.

It was the turn of fate that one day her mother caught her in the heated argument with her husband on the phone. Afterwards when she talked to her and the things that were revealed in front of her, shocked her till her core. The tears started to flow from her eyes and the pain grasped her heart. But after all this the girl was ready to go back to her husband and wait for things to change for good. She didn’t want her marriage to break and was ready to pay any price for it even if she has to bear it all alone and silently.

Everyone tried to explain her but the “SILENCE OF THE LAMB”, still prevailed.


CONCLUSION

To remain silent and closing eyes over the injustice happening to you is not at resilience, it is just being coward. They say speech is silver and silence is gold, but in this case the silence is acting like a slow poison killing her brutally. The so called fairy tale totally turned diabolical.


FASCIAL SIGNS OF WEAKNESS


Raised eyebrows dividing the forehead into equal parts

Outer corner of eyes bending much downward from the equator line

Pinched nose

Receding chin

Thin lips


MORAL

You have to fight and earn for you’re happily ever after and for this you require tactful silence followed by words of resistance and perseverance.