BOYS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE BOYS {SERIES – 2} PLAYBOY’S HATRICK

          BOYS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE BOYS

              {SERIES – 2}   PLAYBOY’S  HATRICK

Ten years back, this time of the year was really very unnerving for me. I had myriad of things seeking my attention at same point of time like chemistry, physics, maths, biology, their assignments, projects, school credits and approaching board exams. Every morning I woke up making a schedule, permutation and combination of them to their decent time slot and by the night freaked out by the schedule. It was not like that I was the problem child but at that point of time the world seem turning upside down.

But for lucky few that I came to know that every month of the year is the love month February and their world is garden of red roses, personally decorated by cupid himself.

I AM THE MAN

Hari, seventeen years old, lean, 5’6”, science student {non- medical} in final year of high school came to me for the treatment of sebohrric dermatitis and acne rosacea. You can miss him for any Indian teenager having issues but when you come to know him better, he is actually the one creating issues.

His all season, full time thing is to make girlfriends, apart from that he sometimes studies to solace his parents who have been financing his school fees, coaching fees, guitar classes {he is a part of Punjabi band, not because he want to be a big rock star, because it is cool and add to his credentials to make girlfriend}, his pocket money and his miscellaneous errands.

He was dating three girls at that time. I asked him, wasn't it difficult for him to manage, but he enlightened me with his first hand experienced rules of the “DATE GAME”, and abiding to them no danger could ever come hunting for him. 

THE PLAYBOY LOOKS – BASIC PHRENOLOGY

Massive hair growth on head – brain full of ideas {in his case irrational ones} and also day dreamer

Round forehead – creativeness

Bushy eyebrows – creativeness

Eyebrows joined at the center {above the nose} – secretiveness, slyness

Small eyes – narrow thinking, secretiveness

Long and narrow commissars {corners} of eyes – polygamous eyes {believe in having many partners at a time}

The outer corner of eyes turned upwards – deceit and slyness

Long nose – carefulness

The tip of the nose pointing downwards – dramatic personality

Breath of bridge of the nose small – lack of veneration

Pinched nose – lack of ideality and sublimity

Fullness, redness at center of upper lip – excessive amativeness {sex love}

Lower lip lacked fullness and redness as compared to upper lip – lack of benevolence and kindness of hear

Narrow jaw – witty jaw

Chin protruding in front – avarice

Dimples in cheek – approbativeness, love for praise

Ears round and small – love of music

PLAYBOY’S AUTOGRAPH Y

{The first hand experience in his own words, nothing edited, cut or changed}

I have just entered my teen along with rest of the boys of my class and suddenly there was enormous pressure on us to prove that we are the “NEW MEN” of the world and the one who scores the best would be the new teenage “BOND” of the school.

All we have to do was to date girls as many as we can. There was rush to choose the date girl, it was like the Diwali sale rush, if you missed this one, you have to wait one full year for it to come back and definitely you lose opportunity to look good at Diwali and earn happiness by making your rivals jealous.

As a starter, I was not that smart and quick, there were falls and mistakes, but they helped me learn and become the master of the “ DATE GAME”, I don’t want to sound pompous, but I kinda become the “LOVE GURU” of generation next. 

MY  FIRST  AND  ONLY  THREE  MISTAKES

FIRST MISTAKE   -  UNNECESSARY MESS

I was thirteen and under lots of pressure and I already said I was not that smart, all the cream around me was getting booked with every passing day. It was so unnerving for me as I was losing the valuable time and simultaneously crashing out of the race. But by the grace of god, I found one girl to date, though she was not at all{she was the one and only non Punjabi girl he dated}, even near to what I thought my first date girl would be but it’s alright I am not going to marry her after all. She was my next door neighbor. I dated Ghani for a while, though I was not much interested, she was just to boost my male ego in front of my other male friends.

The chick talked so much that my head started to buzz. It took her some time to realize that I was not interested in her. I don’t know that whether she became angry or started a revenge drive, she unnecessary got me into different brawls and one of them got ugly and that to with my another neighbor, Hash. It went so blown out that things reached our home. The most guarded secret was out and my so called girlfriend tried to save her skin and poured all the acid on me. Her mother came to our home and fought with my mother and accusing me of stalking and adulterating her innocent daughter. Can you believe that, that girl was so impossible?

First I got out with injuries spoiling my million dollar face with Hash and then severe punishment by my folk’s abandoning me from all the perks and luxuries for months. They say time is the best healer but they don’t give us exactly how long, the exact figure. In my case it took about six months to get back to normal. In those six months I took very important decision of my life, never to date neighbor chick {not in 5 km radius}, never to get in any brawl for the chick and definitely not dating any non Punjabi girl {my chemistry never matches with them}.

SECOND MISTAKE  -  FUTURE PLANNING

After having diabolic relationship with Ghani, I moved up to next level and it was then that I met Mills, she was beautiful, smart, Punjabi and not my neighbor. It started as the fling and I don’t know how and when I started to have feelings for her, surprisingly the great Hari was falling in love with a girl. I am adventurous so I thought why not?

I tutored her, showered her mother with gifts {well, this really work guys} and did his school assignments, gave her all perks to be my lucky girl.

Things started to become so serious that I did the biggest blunder of the date game; I started to plan future with her. Her father was the chef in one of the most famous restaurant in Italy and the whole family was about to move over there. So I planned how to maintain the long distance relationship with her and when I would be through my hotel management degree, I would move there and she will then introduce me to her father who for the happiness of his daughter would help me in my career and when I get little stability I would marry Mills and we would have three kids, two daughter Emma and Suzan and one son Carlos {I even accepted non Punjabi names of my kids for that girl}. It was like a fairy tale.

What was I thinking, I was so naïve and then I repeated one of my last mistakes that I got into fight for her and that too with none other than my favorite opponent Hash. It happen Hash and Mills were in same coaching classes and Hash wasted no time to leash out the poison against me as soon as he came to know that Mills was dating me. And that stupid girl whom I thought I love, fall for it. How can girls be so irresponsible and unbelievable?

With a bruised heart and face, I learned my lesson hard, no deep involvement with chicks and no more fighting; after all I couldn’t afford to have scars on my pretty face.

THIRD MISTAKE  - ULTIMATE FLING

It took me a while to get over Mills. It was during my ninth standard examination, I sat there writing my answer sheet that for one moment I lifted my eyes, just for a moment only and I couldn’t believe myself what I saw.

A girl sitting in the diagonally opposite class was secretly glancing at me from her class’s window and smiling at me. I looked up to the imaginary god and thought in my mind, seriously god, at this moment and then without wasting another second of my life, I looked at her, tilted my head and smiled back in my most lethal signature way {it never, ever fails}. She giggled and automatically I know that laughter of approval. But as the anti climax, the stupid, stupid teacher jealous of chemistry brewing between us closed the damn door.

The same day I found her on the face book and send her the invitation to be friend and she accepted. Her name was Pooh and she was a Punjabi. We chatted on internet but in reality ice between us was still to be broken.

I came to know that she have a friend Neds who happens to have a crush on my best friend Bector and she could not approach him as he have "no dating girl" type image. There was a solution, I help her and she helps me and we made a deal which worked fabulously. I and Pooh and so Neds and Bector were the couple.

I had ultimate fun with Pooh and at same time I was careful not to repeat my previous mistakes. I was happy and high on my success that I ultimately landed in a perfect fling, but providence had another lesson left to teach me.

Neds broke with Bector and she kind of take out that revenge from me and spilled all the beans about our deal to Pooh. It was supposed to be a secret that we were suppose to take to our grave. Can you believe that girl, how can they be so impossible? Things fell off between me and Pooh. And I learned the last lesson of the date game, never ever take a via route, always approach the girl directly.

NOTE – he was the one who became the “TEENAGE BOND OF THE YEAR” for dating almost every girl in the school. This title was announced during his farewell.

MORAL

There is no second opinion about it; boys are always going to be boys.