BOYS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE BOYS {SERIES – 1} MR. Mc RICH, HOT, STEAMY

         BOYS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE BOYS {SERIES – 1}

                              MR. Mc RICH, HOT, STEAMY

What will be your first thought that strikes your brain when you see a young, tall 5’10” or 5’11”, very handsome, very white or I must say angrez white man, clean shaven, hairs groomed in trademark Elvis Presley’s quaff, wearing black Ray ban aviator glares and Van Heusen’s attire from his branded vogue wardrobe stepping out of brand new white Audi C4.

There opt to be different reaction according to your gender. In case you are a girl, definitely your mouth will open in awe, pupils going to dilate, cheeks flushes, mouth feel parched,tachycardia {increase heart rate}, butterflies in stomach, weakness in knees. You will day dream, thinking him to be the brave knight riding on his white steed galloping towards you and would sweep you off your feet and take you to far- far away land and since time thereafter you will live happily ever after.

But, in case you happen to be a guy, the response is a complete contrast until and unless you are gay. Immediately the heat of rivalry flares up. Pupils contract, head pull up high exposing the neck, breathing become strenuous and deep, ale nasi {nostrils} expand, chest drawn forward, shoulder firm and biceps, triceps and hamstrings tightens and hands close forming a fist. You will feed your ego by referring him with abusive slang and would find comfort calling him a spoil brat and explain that with patriarchal financiers behind back anyone can act like a hero but the real steel is only checked by working hard under the sun and sweating profusely. And your last solace would be in calling him high class chikna {slang for the possessor of delicate features}.

In case you ask my opinion, I will say…..

Mc DONALD’S STORY

In last two years I have a quarterly visit in month of April, August and December from a very handsome, young, tall, fair and very rich befitting the above description, patient. He takes a prior appointment, comes, sit patiently for his turn and when finally gets an opportunity he tell the same old, his personal Mc Donald’s anecdote featuring him as the victim {character which is always constant} and a predator {character being changed every time, played by various talented girls} who prey him for their whims and fancies, as told by our rich boy. I suppose I am going to make it into guinea’s book of record of hearing the fable of rich boy again and again, it already have been six times.

Before revealing out the details of his Mc Donald’s legend, let me brief his biography. It have a striking similarity to typical bollywood flick, only son of big business tycoon family of Delhi, parents died in a car crash when he was seven; grand parents took care of him, fulfilling his all demands so that he shouldn’t feel bereft of parental love and affection. Even after so much pampering he didn’t turn into a spoil brat but instead completed his graduation, did a MBA and earnestly joined the family business. He always describe himself as very sentimental, emotionally vulnerable, soft hearted introvert {last word was hard to believe as he is a very talented dancer, won different dance competition at college level and took part in few reality shows though never won them, because he let others win because he melts on every sob story}.

Here is what happens in Mc Donald’s story. Every time he eat at Mc Donald’s, there is always a beautiful girl who shows keen interest in him and approaches him and our habitually sentimental rich boy can’t even in his dreams think of breaking anyone’s heart, reckon her advances, worst falls {every time} in head over heels in love with her and plan spending whole life and growing old with her, but as the cruel fate have its own rash ways, that after dating for approximately four months{surprisingly, every time} he get dumped by the same random beautiful girl from Mc Donald’s at the same venue where their eyes clashed for the very first time.

His broken heart need to be mended and hence require a doctor who could listen to his story patiently and sympathies with him and give him some medicine, for that I have been appointed and for last two years I have been doing my job very earnestly. 

But as soon as his injuries get healed he again jumps back into the love and dumping game, repeating exactly same sequence of event but each time the predators being different with varied weapons of their lethal charm which become too much for him to deal with and as a consequence he falls back into same ditch. According to him it’s not at all his mistake and all blame goes to the providence which is playing games with his soft heart.

PHRENOLOGY

• Round forehead – artistic qualities
• Wrinkles on forehead lying horizontally across the nose, near it’s root – executive wrinkle
• Large convex eyes – sentimental and amative
• Outer corner of eyes deviated little downwards – easily persuasive personalities
• Long narrow and regularly well arched eyebrows – aesthetic qualities
• Muscle filling at root of the nose – self will, never to give up kind people
• Oval cheeks – agreeable types
• Convex nose – executive nose
• Tip of nose pointing downward – artistic and aesthetic presentation
• Unusual degree of fullness redness and moisture of center of upper lip – excessive sentiments and amative love
• Full and red lower lip – great eater {so this explains visits to Mc Donald’s} and great speaker, sociable lips
• Excessive Fullness good color and moisture of lower lip {fresh appearance lips} – excessive imprudent benevolence
• Convex outward curving of middle portion of upper lip –pompous, blow hard personalities
• Downward droop at either side of center of upper lip – domestic traits, love for children
• Dimpled chin – ant of approbation and praise
• Muscle filling at center of chin – love of his locality, love for the nation and country
• Muscle filling below the sides of lower lip – love of home
• Palm up position {exposing the whole palm} while hand shake {decoding by body language} – docile, vulnerable trait 

  WHY, IT’S ALWAYS ME?

His recent Mc Donald’s heart break wounded him deeply this time and his remorseful eyes seek the answer to console his poor victimized soul.

RB – rich boy                                                                Doc - me

RB – Doc, I fail to understand why its always me getting dumped, I break no one’s heart and this is the reward I get.

Doc – {its been six times that I heard him, now my patience was giving up a little and irritation was making inroads} you want to hear the truth or sympathy?

RB – {startled a bit} for starters’ sympathy would be good.

Doc – {in monotonous tone} they were not good for you. Sooner or later you are going to find a good girl.

{After I completed my sentence there was a huge silence for couple of seconds, he looked at me, but I didn’t react}

RB – that is it….. Nothing more you want to say today.

Doc – yes! I have nothing more to say because those are lies and I am done feeding your ego with them and this high time RB you confront the truth.

RB – the truth?

Doc – yes the bitter truth. RB you are the most Mc hot, Mc rich and Mc steamy guy at Mc Donald’s, but as soon as you open your mouth you become Mc sentimental which for short time looks impressive but for long continuous period it is unbearable, no one can tolerate your whining about being very emotional for long especially yours Mc date and that is the reason your Mc love story ends up being ludicrous. If you want to spend your Mc life with any worthy woman, you got to shed that whining baby outlook and become Mc smart and Mc brainy.

RB – You really think I am Mc hot and steamy.

Doc – from the whole thing you just could understand being Mc hot and steamy, good. You don’t want to confront the core matter. 
{Made my voice stern and enunciated} STOP eating at Mc Donald’s, in case you eat, STOP looking around, in case you do look around, STOP looking at girls, in case you still can’t abstain yourself, put a scrutiny to your choices and in case the scrutiny fails and any Mc fling girl filters through it, DON’T unnecessary open your mouth and in case you can’t shut up, go to step number one STOP eating at Mc Donald’s.

RB – wow! You are Mc cruel doc.

Doc – I am Mc realistic and practical. Do you follow? {He didn’t reply. I again asked this time sternly} do you follow?

RB – yes I do. I do follow.

Doc – good for you

NEXT QYATERLY MEET!

RB – Hey doc!

Doc – you back again!

RB – your genius protocol just failed and I got dumped again.

Doc – great!

RB – don’t be sarcastic, I changed, I did change. I did exactly what you said. I stopped eating at Mc Donald’s. You know how difficult it was for me to get my taste buds accustom to SUB WAY. Yes doc, now I am the sub way eater which makes me sub hot and sub steamy synonymous of humble self. You always say be subtle, now look I am on path of being subtle, it also have a sub in beginning. I also became sub sentimentalist, isn’t that a good thing? Seriously it worked positive for me, as after getting dumped this time I didn’t feel the severe pangs of pain as earlier. Thank you for that. But still sorry to say that your awesome plan failed and I got dump again. You got to figure out some other back up plan.

{I stared at him in disbelief and my jaw dropped and my eye balls were on verge of abandoning their socket.}

RB – what?

Doc – nothing, nothing at all.

RB – than start thinking again.

Doc – yes sir!

Moral

{Continuation from introduction}

…. If you ask my opinion, I will say……

“Rich boys, poor boys, gay boys, play boys,

Tall boys, short boys, thin boys, fat boys,

Handsome boys, not so handsome boys,

White boys, dark boys, without exception,

BOYS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE BOYS!”