IDIOSYNCRASY OF PLAYBOY

  IDIOSYNCRASY OF PLAYBOY

You must be well aware about the story of the girl who got hurt sleeping over a pea though it was ten mattresses below her. This peculiar, hypersensitive behavior is called idiosyncrasy.

CCTV life...

She is a five year old girl. She looks normal, talks normal and walks normal nothing different from any other five year old. But only thing that make her odd one out is the constant twenty four hour surveillance on her.

She isn’t a daughter of some high profile entrepreneur or apple of eye of some bigwig. It’s because she is daddy’s little girl.

MOTHER EXPLANATION FOR THE FATHER’S PARANOIA

The mother of the child thinks that since there is increased in number of crime against children, hence the father is being little careful.

[There is a vast difference between being careful and being paranoid. The girl’s father is more or less imagining things. He leaves her girl to school, stands there till she enter the main gate and in the afternoon he is on the same spot way before the last bell rings. If he had his ways he would have been attending classes with her but it is against school policy, so he subdued.

He stays in for her post school hobby classes. And other thing to make sure that all the boys should maintain five arm distances from his baby girl irrespective of their age, creed or religion. Even no two year old male child is allowed near his prized possession.]

The hysteria was too much for me to take and hence one day out of severe curiosity I confronted him.

Now, here what the Daddy said...

[I tried my level beast to put in same words and meaning]

“I know you think, I am insane but I am not...the thing is doc, you have no idea what goes inside the boys brain. There are things that I can’t come open with you too.”

[It was nowhere near the answer I expected. I looked at him at point blank rage]

“Fine! Here is what you would prefer to hear. I. . . . (He took a very deep breath)... had twenty two girl friends each year. And my track record was that I never repeated any girl. Out of all the girls I dated, things went pretty long and serious with eleven ones. And out of that cricket team I zeroed it to top three contenders whom I would have seen as my life partner but I end up fighting with the father of girl number one; the father of girl number two didn't approve our relationship and the girl No. 3....”

[Let me guess, is your wife. The sparkle in my eyes made him read my thoughts. But I was so wrong.]

No, the girl number three is not my wife. She broke up with me when she came to know that I gave her the last proposal preference after being refused by number one and two respectively. And finally I got knotted in an arrange marriage.

You see, all boys are dogs. They would hyper salivate and waggle their tail as soon as they see a hot chick but when it comes to commitment it’s only the mamma’s brought girl they like and this goes out without expectation, leave the rare scenario.”

[My eyebrows narrowed]

“Don’t question my judgement, I know better... I started very young and fortunately or unfortunately I practically wrote the rules of the game. All I am doing is to protect my little girl from those love mongers scattered in sixes and seven all over the city, that’s set.

God serve us right, every playboy do have a daughter to teach them a lesson of life. I think my anxieties would really kill me one day, I can die of heart attack...”

AN ABSOLUTLY VALID POINT MADE!

Phrenology of caution

      Long and thin nose

Phrenology of playboys

       Small almond shape eyes

       The centre of upper lip is bigger, brighter and red.

MORAL

(The moral of the story have been strongly suggested by my patient.)

In his words, “A dog dies a dog’s death.”

ULTERIOR MOTIVE = LOVE BETRAYAL

                     ULTERIOR MOTIVE  =  LOVE BETRAYAL 

For few personalities life is an open book but for few it is full of clandestine affairs, sometime not less than any suspense Bollywood thriller.

Any amount of knowledge or any amount of studies digging deep in layers of human psyche can’t reveal the darker shades of the ulterior self till the their agenda is full filled to the last full stop.

THE MAN...

His life was full of hardships and he never gave a damn about it. His father died when he was twelve. He was remorseful but not shattered. Skipping over adolescence, he worked his ass off, from doing the petty things to heavy task that not paid him in penny but also long lasting contracts. He didn't give up his studies. The lenient providence not only established him as a good lawyer but made him own a gym. He was twenty five years old, and a success story of rags to riches of town. At twenty seven he got hooked to the girl chosen by the mother. He was the most eligible bachelor and the prized catch. Things were going buttery smooth in life until one day, another woman entered.

THE WOMAN...

One usual day, he was asked for a consult in a divorce case by his friend. They were supposed to represent from the side of a middle age woman. At first it was just another case from the stock but as the years went around the atmosphere started to change between the man and the woman who was almost ten years elder to him. He not only overtook the entire case but spend all the waking hours of the day with her. He was so enchanted by her sensuality that his other business and other cases and also his own wife and kids were pushed to the locked closet, whose key was deliberately thrown in ocean. Their courtship as well as lady’s divorce case was moving at its own pace until one day the things changed drastically because of one accident...

THE ACCIDENT...

The woman’s husband met with an accident and died on the spot and since the case was not settled into divorce and there was no one to claim his huge property by default it all fell in her lap. Moreover she was free to public her affair with the lawyer.

On the other hand because of the ongoing, much talked and rumored fling of the man with his client had already distant his family and to freehold all relationship with legal formalities was piece of cake. In next months, the man finally hitched with the woman to live happily ever after for rest of his life.

But there are plans that never execute to their finest fabric. There are hearts broken in the process called life. The so called fairy tale of that man was short lived as he got to see the true flying colors of the woman after the honeymoon phase got over. They started to fight which would sometime end in violence. Their dealings were not bound in four walls but started to make headlines in the gossip column of neighborhood. But the man was so hell, head over heels in love with the lady that he carried or dragged the burden of their failing marriage for ten years.

In between they had a son, but even the prodigal birth couldn't bring colors to their black and white life. Everything suffered his health, his business and even his law practice but he was ready to pay the expenses even if it meant to save the marriage, until one day he confronted a betrayal.

THE BETRAYAL...

The fateful night, he was early home, only to catch his beloved wife with a lover in his bedroom. All hell with his whole fury broke loose on his head. Everything seemed meaningless that very moment. And finally he came to terms that everything which he proudly possessed have been burn to ashes on the very ground.

That day after, his wife moved out of the house with her lover and applied for the divorce. She had no shame no regret nothing whole she walked out. He was heartbroken. Was it he karmic justice? Was it enough of the price paid or more was left to his ordeal?

He was still in love with that woman and was so addicted to her presence that even though there was a divorce case running in the court, he made the frequent trips to her house and apologized her and begged her to come back till the day he took his last breath.

THE LAST BREATH...

The divorce case was still pending and would take years to settle until it closed abruptly. The man who was so zealous in his life and unfazed in all miseries has committed suicide at his wife’s house. That was sudden and unexpected, though the crime scene came clean for homicide.

Everyone was confused of what happened. No one was really coming terms to the condition that molded in.

The new case has started in the case, a wife fighting against her husband’s family over her right to her deceased husband property. Legally she was still his wife and had authority as well as right to do that.

There are many unsolved questions in the case about the woman’s both husbands but at the end it all settles for that both men paid with their life for loving that woman.

PHRENOLOGY OF AMOROUS LOVE

Well swollen, well colored central part of upper lip.

MORAL...

After all, karma without exception always comes into play in the playground of life.

LIFE-LORE (UNEXPECTED LIFE EXPECTANCY)

                                                                LIFE-LORE

                                                (UNEXPECTED LIFE EXPECTANCY)

Even though we run as many as statistical numbers to calculate the expectancy of human life, we will end up with empirical answer for a population, which too with condition applied. But for an individual we are still clueless.

Library shelves are loaded with books, imparting the great wisdom to live and displaying with crystal clarity examples of history but still it doesn't hamper us to dig our own grave.

THEY  WERE  JUST  NOT  ROSY  RED  APTHOUS  BUT  IN  REALITY  FOOTSTEPS  TO HEDIUS  INFERNO...

This man, in his early forties has been suffering from recurrent frequent apthous in his mouth and alimentary canal since couple of years. They fade away temporarily but reoccur with new found ferocity and velocity. All treatment available in healing books, fall flat on isometric line in his case. He can’t even eat bland food without screaming in pain and tears in his eyes.

Finally, one doctor suggested having a deeper check on his immunity and test results surprised everybody. The results showed him to be HIV reactive which caused non-healing ulcers in his mouth.

“I AM NOT GUILTY”

He was scoring good health points, once his treatment started but he was not ready to accept the most obvious cause to get mangled in spider web.

He never had any blood transfusion ever in his life and neither went outside his house seeking satiety on sexual sphere but then how in any reason of world he unlocked the doors of inferno. Even his wife shouldered his statement. His wife was also checked for the viral strain but she came out clean.

According to his wife, her husband is a spiritual devoted man who throughout life had very limited contact with her. Once their family was complete with one girl and a boy, he shut all doors of intimacy for her. Moreover he was not a great lover and always managed a below average performance with his wife. The question still lingers large, THEN HOW??

                                                     “THE TRUTH WE MORTALS NEED

                                                        TO BLESS AND MAKE US KEEP.

                                                     THE AL-WISE SLIGHTLY COVER YOUR

                                                             BUT DIDN'T BURY DEEP”

                                                                                                   -HORACE

That means we need to dig more for answers. Though his treatment was working but to amusement of doctors, there were time his virus loads seemed roof high. Were they missing over something or they have stumble over a new found etiology for the viral loads. Some days seemed pretty normal like his other brethrens but others were like a flood in Nile as if he was drinking from the box of Pandora.

DOCTOR AND THEIR WAYS...

Answer this riddle first

“A man and his son had a road accident. The man died on the spot and he boy was rushed to the ER. The attending doctor as soon as looked at the boy, cried, “He is my son”

Explain the phenomenon?

I don’t have patience waiting for answers and therefore I’ll let the cat out of the bag, the man who died wasn’t fake he was his father and the attending doctor was his mother.

That’s common sense but rarely applied skipping the part where you would have come up with permutation and combination of wrong answers. The right answer once revealed seemed pretty simple and so was the case with HIV reactive patient. It took extra grey matter usage of one of the wise doctor to decode the anacoluthia.

Since the disease classify itself into the top most priority in STD’s and hence the answer must lie in the question itself. If it’s not the vanilla sex then it can be other way round or other side on!

Under the devotee thick skin, the man was all GAY inside and the reason he contracted this erroneous virus was his perverted ways of rectal sex or SODOMY. He has been in contact with male whores for years to find his gratification.

His secret was buried under shackles of paper work under doctor patient confidentiality act but at same time doctor confronted him to straighten his ways before it is too late. The consequences of his actions would sooner or later have full blossom canvas but as for now the medical mystery of his tapering life expectancy was solved with accurate proficiency.

Hence proving krsna’s theory, lust, anger and greed are three doors to hell.

PHRENOLOGY

Small almond shaped eyes.

MORAL

Mankind is capable of digging their own grave with their own hands.  

Good Rice, Bad Rice!

                     “GOOD RICE, BAD RICE!”

Year is almost touching its finish line. New Year parties are being planned and the countdown to welcome another gleaming sun of next year is on.

As we sit, waiting to ‘cheers our glasses on the new year eve’ lot of introspection goes around. What we did, how we did, what it resulted and how differently we could do it are like all the mangled thoughts that stern the pot.

Then there are providence perpetuated things that came as bonanza in our lives or fell like hell in its full fiery on our head. And after the storm, all we search for is a justified answer to ‘how’, ‘what’ and ‘why’....

The universal law enforcement seems like an unsolved mystery for us, though the concept is explained with crystal clarity in scriptures. It all boils down to “GOOD RICE, BAD RICE!”

Once upon a time, there was this farmer, who worked really hard in his fields from day in and day out irrespective of sun, winds and rain. His hard work outshined in his over stretched paddy fields, and because of his “leaving no stone unturned” effort at the time of harvesting of crops scored him the winning point. His goodness was always flooded with best quality of rice almost throughout the year. And at the year end, when most of his rice was sold at good price, there was a good amount left which he used to conserve in the big tank for his personal use.

This tank was very peculiarly and conspicuously designed by the farmer, it was very huge. It had two openings, one big opening at the top from where all the left over rice was put and the other small, lidded opening at the bottom near the base, like a top from where the small amount of rice was drawn for day to day personal use.

For years he worked hard and filled the tank with good quality rice seeds. Meanwhile he was married and had kids.

One day out of sudden, the farmer thought that he have worked so hard now it is a time for him to pursue well deserved break and spend little quality time with his family as well on entertainment. That year he became very irregular to his fields, passed days dozing away at his home or hanging out with his friends. Even being lazy in his acts the storage camp provided him with quality rice to feed upon throughout the year and year end. Consequences of his actions were well evident. The crop quality dipped below average this year. Half his crop was destroyed by pesticides and the rest found no buyers because of its poor presentation, only the morsels could make into shelves.

To meet the expenses he had to rely upon the last year savings in the tank. He emptied his tank with all the shiny seeds for the sale and in return filled it with poor quality paddy of that year.

His storage tank saved him a day and he was able to ride on his losses. At same time he learned lesson from his mistake and started to be regular in the fields. He started work and sweat again and by the year end with his earnest effort he could harvest a bumper crop. While he worked his ass off, sweating day and night, his storage tanker provided him with the rotten deal. The rice that they ate that year was no comparison to the quality they had earlier. It was small, non shiny, irregular, brittle and not very palpable. But the farmer had no option; he had to survive on that even though he was working very hard. He knew it was result exponent of his lazy self.

But, at same time, it was all confusing for his five year old son. All he could perceive was that when his father enjoyed his life, they had good rice to eat and now when he is working like an ass in the fields giving up all bodily comfort, all they get in their plates are the bad rice. The boy totally failed to notice the concept of storage tank. And that’s we do too. We also, for our convince delete that part and perceive the picture from the eyes of five year old and end up blaming god, the fate and the destiny. All we have to do is to replace the ‘rice’ with ‘karma’. It always boils down to “good karma, bad karma” with the storage karma which we cashes on daily bases.

So while running an introspection scan, please take in consideration the stored in “Good rice Bad rice”

(Story picked from srimad bhagvatam)

With this note, wish you a very happy new year 2015. May it fill your life with all the well deserved happiness, see you next year!

HYPOCHONDRIA EXEMPLIFIED

       HYPOCHONDRIA EXEMPLIFIED

Hypochondria isn’t a rare finding but you find it in diverse forms  and once when it crosses pathological threshold it presents in different forms like OCD, hysteria or mauchean’s, and sometimes being excessive vigilant smart ass ends up having the real ass red.(No pun intended).

                                                                        CASE 1

This patient once had a fractured hand. He went into shock that how in any possibility this could ever happen. As his argument, he always had balance diet and kept thorough score on his calcium supply. It was later explained to him that his vit D3 plunged and hence he ended up having a hairline fracture in his phalanges.

Though his middle finger fracture and his pain was under control but the curiosity to see his finger healed made him undergo various x-ray films from different radiology lab. He had at least 15 x-ray of that injured finger. He only stopped when his stomach snatched all the limelight for the little finger. His gut failed to digest anything. Everything that went in instantly reversed back.

Running from pillars to post different doctors took two months, no relief and five kg weight loss. Finally one wise doctor gave footage to his recent history and saw the pictorial display of his injured finger.

Now he is undergoing treatment for x-rays poisoning.

                                                                  CASE-2

This particular 16year old boy was diagnosed with Urticaria. He become so disgusted with even a little scratching that he started popping anti- histamine as candy.

Though it put him under drug induced haze but put itching at bay. That was a done deal from him even when his doctors asked him to cut short his dosage.

Six months down the line, his GI tract revolted. Doctors were ‘on’ with another ‘irritable bowel syndrome’ diagnosis with is liver enzymes (SGOT, SGPT) going sky rocketing.

It was again drug induced. He was put under treatment. He was improving too but trust is not the word in his dictionary. Every fifteen days he got his blood investigated for SGOT and SGPT and once those numbers dips his confidence increases. He goes for repeated investigation against the advice of his doctors.

                                                                       CASE-3

This woman is atypically well read, so proficient that she can read between sentences as well as spoken words. They say ignorance is bliss. But thanks to Google that bliss have long ago fainted away. It became very difficult for a doctor when Wikipedia trained patient contribute in DDX or ask you to pen few extra unwanted investigation. Belonging to such species, this woman came with prepared thesis on her symptoms as well as probable diagnoses. And any symptom that appears on the scanner is to be checked by doctor instantly and thoroughly or she loose sanity and become ICU hysterical.

Now here is the problem, when you drawn your doctor with symptoms it becomes difficult to fish out the genuine treatable one and authenticity of everything is lost in mid air.

So patients, be aware but beware of your idiosyncrasies.

                                          CASE-4

They are high alert patients of Dengue, malaria and chickenguniya seasons because every mosquito bite makes them go into anaphylactic shock. The most shocking reaction to mosquito bite is about a patient, who after being hit by a random astray mosquito went into completely inconsolable state beyond any comprehension.

His blood sugar dipped and he almost fainted creating panic in household.

In the hospital, where each and every test known is med books was performed and all came under normalcy limits.

Three days after when he was discharged, he had a shameless grin on his face, ‘’Sorry False Alarm!’’, while his father was holding a fifty thousand bill.

MORAL

Don’t be a boy who called fox. Because when the real fox come no one will believe you.  

HYPOCHONDRIA

HYPOCHONDRIA= Meaning chronic and abnormal anxiety about imaginary symptoms and ailments.

For a doctor, these cases are worse cases ever because these species of people bring the porridge of mingled symptomatology and it becomes as difficult as rocket science, to dart the real one, actual one, authentic and genuine one which require immediate attention.

Right to know is a privilege but partial knowledge gained from surfing search engines can be dangerous. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Not every mosquito bite would drag you to dengue shock syndrome. Being vigilant is good, obsession is pathological.

MY HEART IS ON FIRE, Third degree burn!

It’s not a story of a cupid stuck, broken heart story neither it’s the rant about the great revenge; it’s just a functional symptom that a boy of 16 years complaint frequent. Without any clock linked specific aggravation time or any triggering agent his body used to present with great discomfort in epigastria region. Day in, day out, out of the blue, there used to be a screams of horror creating a whirlpool in his life as well as the lives of his near and dear ones. Five times he have been rushed to ER, Ten times he have been injected for relief, three times his body have been scanned from head to toe and he have consulted every doctor with above five star rating in yellow pages, for his ailments. But even after this expensive medical jaunt he ends up on square one.

Every passing day is the distressed for him because he have not stumble over the nomenclature of disease he is suffering from. His every prayer on lip seeks answers of his diagnoses. His imaginary fears are feeding his anxieties and worsening his problem as well as posing point for his studies, after all its a high school syllabus, he don’t have luxury of time to go on such a spree.

He is in anguish that his heart is burning on the stove and would rot up one day. And what makes it worse is that he is screaming for help and no one is able to chalk down the doable rescue mission for him. A doctor says, apart from his mind nothing requires to be fixed.

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Mankind require hope to survive. For him his gross straw in flooded river was diagnosis and finally he was bestowed with it.

His chest was scanned under the PET scan {generally used to find a hidden tumour or cancerous growth} and in those shiny test results laid answers to his destiny. The anacoluthia of his life was caught red handed. Thank god, it was not his heart but the stomach that has trespassed in the neighbourhood of the beating box.

He was finally diagnosed with HITUS HERNIA, a condition in which the part of stomach skips from the hole of diaphragm (the hole through which the oesophagus passes) and lodges in the mediastinal region in vicinity of heart, one of the rare anomalies that form aetiology for heart burn.

In no time the treatment was started and in no time he laid back to the study table pacing his daily routine.

It was the perseverance that made boy to get his answers. That means hypochondriac trait is good. Is it?

PHRENOLOGY OF HYPOCHONDRIAC

    High placed eyebrows

    Excessively long nose

    Popped out ears

    Sliding downward angle of outer commeasure of eyes

THE PLACEBO EFFECT

His scans were basking in crystal clarity. There was no picture of stomach pouting to the cameras. Anatomy was normal in its borders and boundaries.

But still he was diagnosed and treated with unlabeled vitamin tabs and the best thing out of the whole case scenario was that he was getting all pink.

MORAL

“Anticipation kills than a real thing.”

The Fault In My Stars

                  THE FAULT IN MY STARS

The sparkling studs that beautify the moonless night, whether they are some astronomical wonder of milky way or have some astrological significance whether to blindly trust them or take it as the treat for eyes in delightful mood is the big question?

BORN WITH GOLDEN SPOON

This man, who happen to be a protagonist of the story was born with the diamond studded golden spoon in the filthy rich family. He was reared with all tender care which helped shaping his delicate physique and at same time made him a lazy bone. He was diluted to fun life and hard work was the rare bird of endangered species. His father influence and the bank accounts were enough to sail down his ship through academic life.

But the real challenge started when he joined his father business.

The boy was a habitual lazy bone. Going to the office, scanning computer screens, reviewing the files and sighing checks were too much for his body to take in for day. It was under his father’s dictatorial pressure that he wake up at the ring of alarm and seated in the office hour by 9 am but he started to lose interest.

The monotonous mediocre life was not something he dream of himself. His air castles had adventures of Indian Jones, the showy money of Mr. Scrooges and the ‘notebook’ love life. But all of the sudden the real life was pouring hot boiling water over it, disfiguring it beyond reorganization. He can’t let it happen.

ESCAPE ROUTE

Finally one day, he found the way to balance his dream life with real early mediocre life. A friend of his, who shared the same lethargic genes with him, suffered from same diagnosis. He was remedied out of his problem by some esteemed astrologer, who did such serious calculations and manipulation with his friends’ stars that he got a jackpot contract that ensured a heavy paycheck for next five years and discounted free time for free will. Listening to marvel story, he was convinced to bet over his own stars, after all his luck was steamy hot and sexy. He met the man who vouched with such a linguistic precision that could make anyone enchanted. Our protagonist wasn't an exception.

ONE YEAR LATER

One year later, he was almost the same man grossly but on microscopic examination few delineating details were revealed which are as follows:-

He added an extra alphabet in name as well as surname.

Each and every finger even the thumb adorned the colorful rock.

His right ear was pierced he wore a diamond stud into that.

There were at least six to eight charm necklaces hanging down his neck.

He had lost 10kg in last 12 months, given into religious fasting to make at least few demigods out of forty eight lakh, happy.

WELL HERE IS REPORT CARD AFTER ONE YEAR

There wasn't any significant increase in his balance sheets other than the fact his bank accounts shown excessive expenses which he carried out in name of religious austere which on long run would not only fill in the craters created but put a surplus tags on it.

On the health front, apart from alarming ten kilogram loss he had an increment in ailment suffering column of medical records.

The weight of chains in his neck was too heavy and he was prohibited to take them out even while sleeping. Apart from few wear and tear rashes, he developed a constant pain in his neck, which on x-ray shown a popped C7 bone and hence bringing him under criteria of cervical pain.

PHRENOLOGY OF SUPERSTITION

·         Excessive big eyes which shows more sclera. There are very emotional people who believe things without considering the statistics.

·         Highly arched eyebrows.

THE ANTI-CLIMAX

The man expected a care free life with showering money from heaven but instead apart from his health and plenty currency from bank account, he also lost rights to the sole decision maker to his business as his father took reigns of the business in his hands.

MORAL

There was, will or never be any shortcut to success.