THE GAME OF COURTSHIP Series-1 Courtship: Potential mates and high alert for girls

                                             THE GAME OF COURTSHIP

                                                               Series-1

       Courtship: Potential mates and high alert for girls

I am giving a temporary break to the story telling series of mine and in few subsequent blogs elicit the whole and through assessment of the “Game of Courtship”.

And why do I so abruptly thought to write about it is because suddenly like there is increase in the cases of viral fevers, dengue fevers or any other kind of fever, there is dramatically increase in ditching, break up games of courtship, more for girls less for guys, but they are turning to me for a remedy or a solution.

“Break –up not an end of the road”, Is the tag line for looser.

Why?

 Because it is not any solution.

Whenever a person, irrespective of guy or girl experiences the red blushes of intimate feelings of passionate love it generates feel good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, acetylcholine & oxytocine which shut down the stress and critical thinking centres of brain and generate the feeling of ECSTASY, similar to the effects produce by drugs like cocaine, opiates like heroin, morphine. And when suddenly “Break-up” cut the supply of these neuro chemicals of brain, the body starts to suffer from the weaning effect of these, leading to withdrawal symptoms. And their miseries are more increased when there is sudden increase in stress hormones cortisol in body. Apparently, according to research, it hurts equivalent to physical pain because it triggers the same pain circuits. Therefore any broad blunt statement rather than being a band-aid to their wounds aggravate their pain many folds and throw them in abyss of depression.

The solution, I offer is to make them more smarter by making them understand this game thoroughly, giving them positivity to play it again and next time when they enter this ring of fire, they are thoroughly prepared not repeating their earlier mistakes and controlling the whole set of affair. After all the BEST REVENGE IS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AS PERFECTY AS YOU CAN AND GIVING NO SHIT ABOUT THE ONE WHO DARE TO BREAK YOUR HEART.

I show them a mirror with a bright future and the flow chart steps to make a kill. I revive their dream and ambition. There is motivation which according to the rules of universe is inversely proportionate to Depression.

So, Let the GAME BEGINS.......

Courtship is not the recent event or few centuries old but it dates back to primitive man in early Stone Age. The main problem of early man was to produce healthy and long living progenies so that their genes could be conserved. Even Darwin elicit it in it’s theory that mating game is part and parcel of  every species growth and perseverance, where females choose among the best of the males as their suitors, therefore it is said,

LET THE BEST MAN WIN.

And the architecture of selection is not the recent one, neither it gets modified by the modern centuries; it remains the same, as it was hardwired in the brains of primitive men, millennia ago. And this whole courtship circuits, now-a-days, we call, falling truly, madly, deeply, heads over heels in love.

POTENTIAL MATES for Women

According to the study, females are more interested in credentials of a man rather than his handsome looks. They will fall for a man with a social status along with secured job and salary. They always think of long term relationship.

Another research found that their male preference is the one who is at least four inches taller or three and a half year older. This female mate preference in universal, irrespective of any culture.

For Men  POTENTIAL MATES

 Men on another hand are attracted to women who shows most healthy reproductive ability and with attractive features, which are at average two and half years younger than they are. They should be attractive and presentable [as there is unsaid competition among the peers, that who get the most attractive damsel off them all] with clear skin, bright eye, full lips, shiny hairs & curvy syminetrical hour glass figure. After all these are the observable sign of fertility and health.

WHY DO GIRLS ALWAYS FALL FOR WRONG GUY?

This is a common story and mostly one of our friend’s cousins has this fate. It is like girls grow up seeing fairy tales and believe that there is definitely a knight with shining armor trooping on his white steed, to enter into her life and rescue her from her daily difficulties. All she asks is protection. Therefore she really get influenced by the brave stories of struggle that guy suffered during growing up years for his family and dreams that one day he will take stand for her, in the time of need. They even get charmed by the scars or scalds of fight on their guy face, after all they are the “MACHO-MAN”.

But it turns out, that these guys have suffered the perils of stress and the only way to vent it out is to find a woman who appreciate them and to whom they could tell the anecdotes of his bravery. This satisfied their “Ego” and when the stress condition is over and life smiles brighter, they try to leave the past including that girl behind and venture out for a new bright sunny beginning. Therefore, it is advised for girls to abstain from self obsessed Rambos.

A patient of mine was very much impressed by a guy, who after the death of his father at very young age, struggled hard, taking full responsibility of his mother and his studies and with lot of difficulties was able to complete his studies and land up in a modest paying job. He always has the incidents of childhood, that once they never have anything to eat and how in just 2 pairs of jeans, he passed the whole collage life, to tell to her. Their relationship went on for quite a long period of time, ultimately ending abruptly, as the boy, of sudden cut off all the contacts with her. She was baffled and anxiously left him so many messages, tried to call him. She did it for weeks but there was no response, she sulked in depression. It was only after couple of months she came to know that the guy got promotion in the job, got a salary hike and out of blue got hold of some ancestral property. And since he was filling every credential for an eligible groom, his mother found him a bride to get married this December.

So therefore, the lesson to learn here is that not every scar on the guys face or every word coming out of his mouth is to be believed on the face value. It may not be a token of his mojo but could be a painful reminder of careless fall after getting drunked in middle of the road, which he could be cashing on you.

WHY THEY SAY “LOVE IS BLIND”?

Well, “Love is blind” because we shut our eyes over our lover mistakes even though how erroneous they are. There is a scientific reason behind it. When the person drawn himself in the infatuation passionate love kind of thing, the brains fear alert systems amygdale and anterior cingulated cortex the critical thinking centre and worrying centre are shut down, [which are on high alert in females when they meet strangers] and the brain is flooded with feel good hormones and neurochemicals which give the feeling of high.     

To make the situation more badly, there comes “the hug”. Twenty seconds, just twenty seconds of hug, triggers the production of oxytocine to many folds that click the on button of romantic love centres of brain and creates more and more new trust circuits in the brain for lover, hence making them completely blind to the mistakes of their beloved and this tendency, again according to the research by Helen Fisher, anthropologist at Rutgers university, is shown more in women than men.   

A friend of mine from college, who knew one of our senior from school days, ends up falling for him even though knowing he was not a right guy for her. That guy, who had a reputation of hitting on every other girl in the college, finding no response from any other girl, ultimately settles for her, after all guys believe that “bird in a bush is better than none.”

Moreover the girl was the only child of a rich that too well settled homoeopathic doctors family, was none other than a prize catch for that guy who was from middle class family and with no good grades in studies.

Although the girl being aware of guy old ways mistakenly thought that he must have changed and she ignored minor incidences happening in front of her as part and parcel of every guy’s decor. But she realized her blunder when she caught the guy full fledge cheating on her just couple of months back before they were to conjoined in holy connubial.

This came as a shock to whole family and when her eyes were open, it was too late. But still, as it is said, “Better be late than never”.

So girls, do not hug or do not let the guy hug you until you are gold slandered sure about the loyalty of the guy. It only takes twenty seconds to sweep you off the floor.

To be continued.......

Catch out in next series about the phrenology tips that you look in your beloved along with blunders committed by guys that reuine whole courtship game and tips for girls how to smile the way in guy’s heart. 

Check it out next week...............