EPILOGUE “THE GAME OF COURTSHIP” “LOVE AT BLINK”

                                                   EPILOGUE

                      “THE GAME OF COURTSHIP”

                          “LOVE AT BLINK”

If I, precisely recall, all I have written about male and female character and response in courtship rituals, all it says that female look for credential in her guy and male looks for the prettiest and fairest maiden of all. So, when it is so hardwired in male and female brains, that how come the concept of love at first sight be so valid proposition? We come cross, so many faces while moving around everyday sometimes one of the face we remember from the crowd for couple of hours or for a day. Sometimes we have celebrity crushes but still we have to see that face couple of times and know about that particular personality to realize that we like him or her. 

That means according to above logic, love at first sight is completely overrated Hollywood or bollywood concept first initiated by the authors like Shakespeare in his book “Romeo & Juliet” or Jane Austin “Pride & Prejudice”.

So, that means there are no “Heer and Ranjah’s” and “Soni and Mahiwal” in real life. Well, actually the answer is ‘Yes’ they are. “Love at first sight” is present but rare phenomenon hence seems totally like a fairy tale.

According to a study conducted in 1000 adults, showed that quarter percent (i.e. 25%) of men “fall in love at first sight” compare to 18% of women.

HOW IT HAPPENS?

LOVE AT THE FAT LATTE

The neurochemicals explanation of feel good hormones which I have repeated so many times comes after falling in love or time when we are hooked. The appropriate explanation to this modus oprendi is quite elicited by reading the book “BLINK” by Malcom Gladwell.

 He talks about the snap judgment in a blink of an eye. Sometimes we make a decisions in fraction of seconds and it turns out right, sometimes we can predict the outcome of the thing so precisely and accurately as if we have already know it, as if it have happened before, as if in a dream.

 It’s like you are meeting a stranger for first time and without even talking to him or her, in the first fraction of seconds you make out your judgment, how your chemistry is going to match with him or her and you even make out what kind of person he or she would turn out to be and when we talk to them, it turns out that we were right in first place about the person in question. Some strange faces are so serene to watch at and some are so repulsive and we can judge it in just a Blink.

This phenomenon in books of psychology is called “Rapid Cognition”. It is the fact, to know without knowing why we know and it turns out right and we accept that. It is also given other names like “SIXTH SENSE”, “GUT FEELING”, “SNAP JUDGEMENT”, etc, but all points out to one thing, to know in a BLINK. And this is concept very applicable to the fact of “Love At First Sight” even knowing in first sight about the strange face, that possibly would be “Love of our life”.

 Can you imagine this, can really happen?

Yes, it does. And all these things happen and are processed in the locked doors of subconscious mind, and moreover we cannot even give any logical or realistic reason about it. Are these decisions always right, that means whatever decisions we take about the person in first few fraction of seconds are meant to be right? Can we rely on them?

Answer is not always. Many times they turn out to be right and we think ourselves to be the processor of great psychic power and many times we end up committing a big blunder. You see, the locked doors of our brain depend upon how our brain is primed up to.

For example if I say four words, mother, father, kitchen, office and ask you to pick, two words at a time and make a sentence, most of you or almost everyone trying this puzzle would use mother and kitchen together to make a sentence like “ my mother cooks great dishes in the kitchen”. And the words father and office would be used together like “My father goes to the office daily”.

So, you see our brain have been primed to link mother to kitchen and father to office. And if we deliberately reverse the world like using father with kitchen, it would take us fraction of more seconds to make a sentence, because we are going reverse of what our brain have been primed to do.

Priming is like a brain-wash. You get up in the morning hearing a patriotic song; you will suddenly feel deep love for your country. You catch up hearing or seeming a motivational or heroic movie and suddenly you will feel that all problems of your life seem trivial and you feel as if you would conquer it.

 Why it happens?

 It’s still the mystery happening in locked doors of our sub conscious mind. It means that problems of our life which seemed so big have suddenly change, it’s magnitude. The answer is ‘No’, it just our perceptive to see them have changed, due to the priming effect of heroic movie on our subconscious mind.

And therefore, the one who falls in love at first sight, pick up the face in the crowd according to the priming of subconscious mind and then that face become locked in our conscious brain and chambers of heart. So our snap judgment about the love of our life could be right as well as wrong. It’s like 50:50 chances.

We make connection much more quickly between Pairs of ideas that are already related to our minds that we do between pairs of ideas that are unfamiliar to us. As we go deeper and deeper propagating any thought or facts, the things become so occult mysterious complicated.

CONLUSION

Falling in love is not the activity of heart only but the locked doors of subconscious brain are equally involved.