“AN OLD SCHOOL GIRL!”

        “AN OLD SCHOOL GIRL!”

“Jogi.... Jogi.... Hey!” Suddenly the whole busy corridor of the airport made a tunnel way clearance for this super excited girl, running recklessly and screaming on top of her lungs. She had already bumped the luggage trolleys on the way and slumped a few human beings off their balance without even turning to apologize. Though she left behond a trail of waggling tongues, she didn’t care as she could see her best friend standing with open arms at the tail end. It had been six years since she met her. All thanks to college reunion these busy doctors were meeting again.

The girl on the other side was also happy but her emotions were much more controlled as she stood there being silent beholder for her jumping jack friend. The thump, hump and hug caused a loss of her equanimity but it was graciously accepted by the girl at the median point, “MJ! It’s so nice to see you.”

“Jogi you haven’t changed, you haven’t aged a day.”

“But Mahi putter, you are entirely a new girl.” The interruption of a voice distracted their surreal union.

“Oh! God, Biji, I am sorry I didn’t notice you. Ah! Tell me, do you have some magic portion which has stopped the clock for both of you.” She immediately left the young woman and leapt on the older version, who had futilely tried to ambush the age gap under her sausage make up.

“Honey, you are such an angel. You are like a daughter I never had.”

“Oh! Come on, not again. Beji, stop it, I know where you are heading.....”

“Watch your tone young lady, you may be Dr Sanjogita Randhawan for the entire world but for me, you still are my foolish little girl, who is running astray and little have I been able to do to stop you.” She carried on the performance with a melodramatic sob.

“What’s going on, Jogi, what’s the matter?”

Sanjogita just shrugged shoulders to her mother’s emotional upheavals.

“Let me tell you what I am going through. Look at you; you have been such a darling daughter for your parents, when you choose to wear that rock on your ring finger. Soon you will be Mrs Mahi Sameer Rana from just being just MJ...Oh! How blessed will that moment be, a butterfly rising from a cocoon, a dream coming true for every parent. But my daughter has ripped me of that simplest pleasure. One, she isn’t smart like you to find herself a good man and two, if I have been doing the needful on her behalf; she has been behaving like obstinate stubborn brat. For god sake, she is thirty.”

Mahi could see the pain in her friend’s eyes beneath those stiffened, frozen and indifferent expressions she gave to her mother. Clearly her mother was unaware of her bruised past.

Without giving any heed to her daughter’s plight she continued, “I found her such a good handsome tall guy, an entrepreneur, running a very high scale business in Goa. Did you listen, Goa, the Las Vegas of India! He is prince charming straight out of the fairy tale and moreover he has fallen madly for her too but she doesn’t care. What increases my misery manifold is that she doesn’t have any legitimate reason to refuse. Here I am dragging my heels from pillar to post to get into the land of beaches, wide cleavages, backless and bikinis. If she can’t think straight at least she should care about my old age. Won’t it provide me eternal happiness, wearing those thongs, getting my skin tanned under Goa’s sun and being surrounded by my grand kids, telling them the sensual stories of my lost youth...”

There was sparkle in her eyes, but frown on her daughter’s face, whereas Mahi was busy biting her lower lip at such an elaborate vivid description.

“Beji, for love of God, behave your age.”

“Karo Swapa! That’s what I am telling you sugar, start behaving your age.”

Before the duel between them would have reached next level, thankfully, the girl’s flight was announced. Even though they hurried their steps towards the boarding gates, they could hear her mother screaming on top of her voice, giving her daughter the departing message, “Think Goa! Darling, think Goa.”

It’s been half hour since the plane had been in mid air. After initial exchange of pleasantries, catch up phrases, what’s up in life confabulations, the girls went into ease mode. Mahi got leads up in her ears catching up with her playlist and Sanjogita having bored herself with glimpses outside the window, preferred to close eyes for a peaceful journey. But peace was the last thing expected out of her life. Soon her long gone ‘past’ started to make a flash appearance in her subconscious.

It all started back in 2003, her first day at medical school. It wasn’t in her roster to lose her heart on the very first day but she felt weak in her knees at first sight of her physiology lab partner, Naval Raizada. She would always blush like a tomato in his presence; after all he was a complete package to be any girl’s dream come true. Shyness was her compulsive attribute and patience the only way out of her anticipatory misery which finally paid, when the first sign of life of their relationship showed up in their sophomore year.

She was on cloud nine and since then never stopped giggling. Those stolen moments to clandestinely meet each other, the sweet bitter overnight severance, the feeling of butterflies in stomach and the canvas of life painted in rainbow colors; it was more than what she ever wished for.

She felt blessed even though her best friend MJ was skeptical of her relationship with him. According to her he was an over ambitious, canny, and astute guy. MJ feared that he would break her heart over his nefarious narcissistic goals.

Her oxytocine high love blindness never made her believe that destiny would be cruel to her. At same time who could trust MJ, when she herself turns blind eyes to Sam aka Sameer Rana, the love stuck Romeo. The poor boy tried every card in his peck to woo her but still at the end of the day she vouched for their platonic friendship. Sanjogita was always empathetic towards him and shared a deep friendship bond with him too.

As the time passed, MJ turned out to be right. It wasn’t that Naval cheated on Sanjogita with someone else but he did worse. He swapped away her five years work project, her final thesis on ‘new genetic mapping techniques to diagnose diseases in unborn babies’, a marvel venture which could have got her into an international scholarship programme. The whole courtship was his plan to steal away her life’s work and he executed it so surreptitiously that no one could lay a finger on him. According to him this project would have died a premature death under apocryphal guidance of an ‘old school girl’ who carried on her shoulder the mediocre priorities of love, marriage, kids and family rather than showing any ambition or zeal. After all this, he still had the guts to project himself as the ‘messiah’ who sacrificed his love by breaking up with Sanjogita to turn himself to the futuristic boon to humanity.

She was petrified. It was beyond her human understanding to decipher the malicious joke played on her. Even after his back stabbing she still went on her knees and pleaded in front of Naval to undo his deeds. It was her futile effort to save everything that was once dear to her heart. MJ and Sam had to manually rip her apart from Naval. He was unmoved and continued spilling bad blood about her and her friends. One punch from Sam made him zip off for a while.

MJ begged her to file an official complaint against Naval but she had lost all sanity of mind and power to think, say or do anything. They just had three days left for submission of her final thesis. They had to act fast or else her medical career could be jeopardized. Since she was not in her acting sense it was MJ and Sam who did the needful on her behalf. The professors too were sympathetic towards her but without any formal complaint from the plaintiff, their hands were tied. Worst, Naval got himself that international scholarship and in no time flew to America.

It’s been six years since that incident. She had buried herself under professional acumen and garnered herself a reputation in ‘genetic mapping of incurable diseases’ but her personal life had turned into a dry desert. It was MJ who pushed her for the reunion. But the possibility of crossing paths again with Naval gave her a bout of palpitation and she immediately got up with a jerk holding MJ’s arm tightly, impeding circulation to her hands.

“What happened, are you fine?”

“Yes.... I am.” She said gasping for air.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s nothing. I am fine.”

“What the heck, I can see, your mother can see but why can’t you see that you are not fine. If I were you I would have stabbed a dagger in his heart for once and all, claiming salvation rather than behaving like an old....” MJ immediately checked her words.

“...old school girl,” Sanjogita completed it for her.

“I didn’t mean....”

“It’s alright...... I said I am fine.”

TWENTY FOUR HOURS LATER.....

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood strained knife lay next to her handbag covered with her blue silk scarf.

She wasn’t aware that MJ was watching her from other side completely bewildered. How could she be so calm after what happened in the day? The past couple of hours started to dash glimpses in front of MJ’s tear fraught eyes.

It was going nice and good at the reunion until Naval showed up at the scene, worst he tried to talk to Sanjogita. It was not a sense of guilt that drove him to her but he wanted to discuss about some intricate medical details about her field. MJ could sense, Sanjogita being emotionally tortured by his advances. Seeing her desolation, she secretly smuggled Sanjogita out of the party to nearby Starbucks cafe, where it all started.

They thought their ordeal was over but soon their illusion was broken when he followed them there. He was stepping toes to talk to her but MJ stood as the Berlin wall between them whereas Sanjogita struggled with right emotions to respond to the situation. Three of them knew there was never going to be a civilized talk between them and soon the things got so ugly that MJ had to physically push him away from Sanjogita.

The innocent thrust proved fatal for him when his chest banged at the edge of the table and he finally collapsed to the ground.

Unaware about the severity of her push, the duo was about to leave when someone in the room screamed, “He isn’t breathing.”

The girls immediately stopped and retrieved steps to his aid. They ripped open his white shirt exposing his chest. Sanjogita was frozen to her grounds. MJ was anxious but still frivolously checking his vital signs. She didn’t mean to hurt him; she was just trying to protect her friend. If something happened to him, her career would be over. Everyone in the room witnessed her pushing him. Fear took over her and compromised her judgement.

Her voice trembled, “Checking ABC... A... airways look fine, B.... Breathing, it’s absent. I am starting CPR. Someone please call for an ambulance.” She was about to thump his chest that for first time, Sanjogita moved and held her fist midway. In next split second she pushed her away and caught hold of the knife from the culinary set and thrust it in his chest. The little sprouts of blood stained her face.

“No....,” screamed Mahi.

Suddenly a message beep on her cellular brought MJ back to the present tense. She read it, wiped off her tears and made a move towards her friend.

“Jogi...”

“Is it over?”

“Yes.... Yes!”  She burst out crying.

The past again overshadowed the present.

“You missed ‘C’..... Circulation. Jugulars in his neck have collapsed...... Diaphragm pushed upwards..... It’s tension pneumothorax. You need to decompress it.”

“He is breathing again.” Someone in the room pointed out.

MJ immediately realized her blunder. The impact of fall punctured his lung and he collapsed. He was already drowning in his own air and if she would have started a CPR, it could have lead to his immediate death. He was rushed to Operation Theater thereafter to repair his injured lung and now he was out of danger after the surgery. MJ just received the message on her cell. After being saved by the girl who he back stabbed six years back, he finally realized his mistake and was now desperate for atonement.

“Jogi, you saved me and you saved him too...” She was still not able to control her tears while she sat there in Starbucks hugging her friend.

“It’s over MJ. You know what, you were right. It felt relieving striking knife in his chest. And what’s interesting, we have all taken chances to hit that man, Sam in the college, you pushed him and I ...... stole the show with the knife. We are even steven.”

Mahi was befuddled, in years, she hasn’t seen her friend so lively and with so many words and she was still on, “It’s a paradoxical life and I turned out just fine. I am a good doctor, my ethics were never my weakness or added burden on my shoulders. They were my strength because of which I was able to save that jerk. It finally pays to be an old school girl.” Her hearty laughter filled the room.

MJ too abandoned her leaky eyes and nose syndrome and joined the celebrations, “Hey Jogi, are you planning to keep this knife as a souvenir?”

“Ew! I am old school not pervert.”

“If you are not taking it, I will keep it.”

“Seriously MJ?”

“Yeah, it’s for my special collection. Leave this topic, tell me, now what?”

“I am thinking to take a vacation and take my mother to the land of beaches and bikinis. After all it’s my duty to fulfill her wishes, I am her only daughter.”

That was Sanjogita’s ultimate strike of the evening.

Mahi screamed in exhalation, “We are going to have a Goa wedding. You are going to get married in thongs.”

“Ew! That’s too much of imagination.”

“If that’s much of the fabric for you, we can replace it with small tiny little leaves.”

“Oh! Karo Swapa!” and they carried on with their jubilation.

Co-incidentally in the backdrop the music went on playing.....

“I might be sentimental...

But don’t be so judgmental.....

So what if I am an old school girl, old school girl.....

I am an old school girl....”

THIS IS THE TIME

THIS IS THE TIME

It is true that we realize the value of   people only when they have left the world otherwise they are taken for granted. Till the person is alive we are busy in criticizing, pinpointing shortcomings, mistake, arguing, fighting. Once the person is gone, we become saints. Suddenly heaps of praises, obituaries start pouring in from every nook and corner. The deceased becomes epitome of goodness and virtues which were previously hidden. I think we don’t mourn the deceased but we cry for the benefits we received from them- one of them being taking away the job of critic. This holds true specially in case of ageing parents.

Respect and Love the person when the person is still around you. Celebrate the life and spend time with them (you don’t know when will be the last moment). Don’t spend time with memories (this in any case you are bound to do).NO point in doing ‘Shraad’ or ‘Barsi’ when we made the person die slowly when he/she needed company ,love ,respect and our time(which we are always short of)

Expression and communication are the essential nutrients for any relation to survive. Express your love by hugs, kisses, gifts and most importantly LISTENING TO THEM, SPENDING TIME WITH THEM. After they are gone, what you do does not matter at all (at least to them). DO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW.

But it’s always easier said than done. Preaching has always been easier than practicing. Well, I learnt the above lesson in a hard way when lost my mother. As they say departed souls become stars, so I want my star to know how much I loved her. How many things were left unsaid and how badly I miss her. The following poem I wrote is just a way to tell “our baby doll” (as she was fondly called) that she was right in so many things. History repeats itself and life takes a full circle because my kids find me outdated, boring and not at all up to date. She always said, “ jad mein challi jaavagi teh mainu yard karengi”. Mamma, I really miss you-----

             मेरी माँ

माँ की कीमत माँ  के जाने के बाद समझ आती है

माँ की बातें माँ के जाने के बाद याद आती है

वो बेसिर पैर कि बातेंं, बेमतलब कि बातेंं

मतलब से भरी नज़र आती है

पर माँ के जाने  के बाद

ही यह बात समझ आती है

वो दुनियादारी की बातें

माँ ही तो हैं जो सिखाती हैं

गिले शिकवे, सलाह मश्विरे किससे करे

माँ की कमी सच में बहुत सताती है।

वो जब थी तो खटकती थी

 कभी कभी आँख की किरकिरी  भी लगती थी

उसकी बातेंं पिछड़ेपन की याद दिलाती है

पर वक्त का सितम है

आज मेरी बेटी भी मुझे यही जताती है

आज आईना भी मेरे चेहरे में

उसका अक्स दिखाता है

उसकी परछाई भी उस जैसी ही दिखेगी

यह समझाता है

'जब मेरी उम्र की होगी तब पता चलेगा'

उसकी ये बात बहुत सताती है

उसकी सब बातेंं बहुत याद आती है

क्योंकि माँ की बातेंं

माँ बननॆ के बाद ही समझ आती है।

Bharti Kikan

WHAT GARDENING TAUGHT ME

WHAT GARDENING TAUGHT ME

Plants meant greenery, bearer of fruits and flowers for me. My interaction with them was only in scientific terms. As I spent more time with them I realised their therapeutic mode. I had heard about this before but believed only when I experienced it personally.

I started gardening only to kill time and began with some cacti but gradually my interest grew. It proved to be a great stress buster and was keeping me physically fit and agile. Gardening even helped me burn calories. BUT what started as time pass and killing boredom soon turned into passion. Within few days I found myself looking for new plants, buying all sizes of pots, gardening equipments. Let me confess, I even stole some and begged for plants. I suddenly turned very social and started interacting with neighbourhood aunties who were like art collectors and had some rare plants. Aunties were smarter than Google and doled out their gyaan on gardening methods. My bargaining skills developed tremendously as my rapid investment on plants was proving heavy on my monthly expenses. My contact list now boasted of group named ‘MALI’. Like a new and an inexperienced mother I called Mali Bhaiya now and then to answer my queries about my babies apart from his monthly visits for vaccinations i.e. manures, cutting etc. I even behaved like a jealous mother “ Uske paudhe mere paudhe se sundar aur healthy kaise? Hi main kya karoon?”

 I loved spending time with them, eagerly waited for new leaves and buds to open and flowers to bloom. Like a curious child I looked every now and then when the seed would turn to seedling and then to plant. I revised my biology lessons on how to take care of plants, what to grow and when to grow. The number of plants grew in multiples of 10 and soon I had my small collection of around 200 plants. I was so obsessed that I grew plants in washbasins, dhokla and milkmaid containers, broken cups, small tokris, even mudas, to say , any container I could lay my hands on. As it happens I was labelled insane. Apart from my daily chores, watering plants, plucking out weeds, turning soil became part of my life. I woke up before sunrise just to see some flowers opening their dewy eyes in arms of morning sun rays and gently swayed in cool breeze. YES I WAS  IN LOVE. During this courtship I learnt many lessons of life which I would like to share:

FLOWER-- Life should be colourful, full of fragrance, peaceful and beautify your surrounding howsoever small it might be. I learnt that I should do my bit for my surroundings and give something to this world. We should not wait for the right moment or time but start now because life is short and unpredictable.

Stem—No matter what may come or go, storms or rains, sunny days or cloudy days it holds the plant together. It lets the leaves attach to itself till they turn yellow and fall. It’s like your family which supports you in thick and thin. It braves all the odds and doesn’t let you fall down.

Roots— the foundation of the plant, the stronger the better. It binds the soil and let the plant stand upright. Roots are parents. They do their best to make the family stick together. They are the pillars on which your whole life builds upwards. The stronger the roots, the taller the plant.

Leaves—They are self sufficient and keep the plant nourished as they are the kitchen of the plant. As the plant grows, the leaves also multiply but each leaf gives space to other and all leaves flourish simultaneously. Leaves are our brothers, sisters cousins and extended family. All take care of themselves but are nourished indirectly by roots and they in turn give support to roots and stem when the plants grow up. As leaves are the ornaments of a plant so are the extended family. The more the merrier.

Fruits___ As the proverb in Hindi says “ Mool se pyara sood”. Everyone waits for the juicy mangoes, apples and other fruits. Similarly grandparents wait for the sweet grandchildren who will carry on their family name and legacy. Grandchildren rejuvenate the older generation who once again start the process of teaching new generation and in the process become child themselves.

Trees—Flowers, fruits and leaves come and go. Birds and animals build their nest, lay eggs, birdies are born and then everyone fly off but trees stand there strongly. Likewise people come, enact their roles and fulfil their duties and leave the world but LIFE and its show go on irrespective of the arrival and departures of the actors.

Cactus and other desert plants—Reminds everyone of spines and thorns. They also bear flowers and fruits but at the right time. Similarly everyone witnesses struggles, bad days, failures, ups and downs but all these things pass away with the time and good days do come at the right time.

When the spring season comes, leaves multiply and flowers bloom. Similarly the festivals, weddings, get together are spring time for family when the family is in full bloom.

                       

What are you waiting for? Come let’s cultivate the plant and our family.

Bharti Kikan

Does GOD repent?

Does GOD repent?

This question often haunted me but after an incident this persistently hovered in my mind. Can GOD really commit anything by mistake or whatever he does is part of his great scheme which we are unable to understand?

I was always made to learn and in fact I always believe that he always thinks and gives us the best at the right time, taking away the good and better from us. But we are so engrossed in lamenting the loss of good and better being taken away that we are unable to appreciate the best he bestowed upon us.

Now the question “Does GOD repent?”

One of my close friends, who was also my rakhi brother died suddenly. I talked to him a week before and the next week I got the news of his untimely demise. I was shocked. He was a teetotaler, very religious and simple person. A person full of life , had a lovely wife and son, living with his mother and brother’s family. Everyone was shocked to hear about his death. His family was inconsolable

especially his mother whose life was back to square one as she had lost her husband at a very young age. Luckily she had got her husband’s job. The mother took control of her family, brought up her two sons, gave them education in a good school, bought a home and settled her sons. Now was the time to relax and enjoy. But the son’s death devastated her.

How could GOD be so cruel? Does GOD exist? Why he? Why only good persons are called by him? Like these many unanswerable questions were raised. Even I was baffled by his death and the questions haunted me too. Then one day his younger brother called me to inform that he was blessed with a baby boy. I congratulated him. Later on I realised that the baby boy was born exactly after 9 months of my friend’s death. I called up his brother and talked about it. He told that everyone feels that he is back.

Now was this a coincidence or GOD was trying to rectify his mistake?

Did GOD send him to complete his unfinished tasks or was it an incarnation? Well, I was perplexed and now and then console myself with the belief that he is the best planner, judge and event manager. Maybe I wouldn’t have been affected by it, if I had heard from someone else but this was my first person account. Though it’s been more than two years but the question often haunts me “Was he really sorry?”

By- Bharti Kikan

this is the writing of one of my reader.

My Views about the topic

whatever happen in our life or the vicious circle, its all our karmic justice. god never interferes with it. what we did in the last births, we don't remember but all we see in the canvas today is the workout of this life. we can't formulate the report card on just first term exam, the report cards are made at the end of the year after entire year assessment.

but we can ask God for his help. if he becomes our personal tutor we can actually get out of this karmic circle.

as only president have the power to nullify the death sentence, similarly only God have the power to change the course of life. so we should ask for their help and not come to any conclusion or raise finger on his intention, for the universe work on the balance sheet of our Karma.

what happened was very sorrowful but happiness and distress are like summer and winter, they are bound to come and stay for a while and then go away. the person who maintain their sanity in both, is the one i like. {Bhagvad Gita}