Better Late Than Never--Now I Understand You, MOM

Better Late Than Never--Now I Understand You, MOM

Now I Understand You, MOM

“You will understand me only when you yourself will become mother. “Time will teach you”. “When you will be of my age, you will understand what I mean.” These were the regular sayings of a typical mother, I think of our age. So I also grew up with these remarks as a daily part of my diet without ever paying attention to such never ending cribbing or letting them cross my mind. I believe, in our times parents behaved like an authority and their wishes or commands were supreme with no scope for discussions or suggestions. The word ‘No’ was simply unacceptable to them. The only phrase which consoled us was ‘Generation Gap’. I don’t know about others but I differed on everything with my Mom- from clothes to friends specially boys; from eating habits to sleeping patterns; from hair styles to good manners. You name a thing and we differed on that. In my case, we both were strong headed but I on discussion I found even my contemporaries faced the same problems. Moreover, in your teens, you live in an ideal world where preaching and practising co-exist. One has views on almost everything because one flows with the Life and is eager to jump into the future. If one is an avid reader, the problems are multiplied as was in my case But somewhere with the entire intellectual reading stuff, I also read:

“HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. WHAT YOU DO TO OTHERS COME BACK TO YOU”.

Indeed, the history is repeating itself frame by frame.

My daughter, equally strong headed (genetic factor), finds me quite conservative, orthodox, timid, quite adjusting and people pleaser (Time has mellowed me and I have learnt that books don’t teach about practical world). I am often accused of wasting my life by slogging in kitchen or feeding my family. When she mocks at me for being less tech savvy, I am reminded of the time when I used to shout at my mother on her inability to play tape recorder. When my daughter applies eyeliner on my eyes, I remember helping my mom in tying her sari. Whenever my daughter gets late, I frantically call her non-stop, I can visualize my mom making endless rounds of street when I got late( with no mobile phones). There are so many instances which take me back into time.

I feel with time many things have changed, but a mother’s concerns for her kids remain unchanged. No doubt, parents are friendlier today. Generation Gap is being filled with discussions, suggestions. Parents listen to their kids but a mother’s anxiety and love remains same. So, I would like my mother, who has become a star, to know that now I understand her concerns, love for me. I would like to tell her:

 MOM

Now that you have gone and became a star,

Time has taught me few things-

How important your words were

How important your talks were

How everything you said

Was impregnated with meaning

Which I couldn’t decipher.

Your talks seemed gibberish

Reminded me of old times

As future fascinated me

Now with the passing of Time

I am myself moving into old times

Becoming a part of History.

As my kids look in the future

My sermons are taken as gibberish.

How much hard I try

Children find my faults

Whatever I do to please them

I am always short of their expectations

Running around them and

Fulfilling my duties

Life has become a #contest

Sometimes as a referee between kids

Sometimes as a referee between father and kids

Juggling between the two

Each day has become #everydayisamotherday

Life has taught me an important lesson-

You can understand a Mother

Only after becoming a mother.

BHARTI KIKAN