Reverse Pathology – Redemption of the Playboy {valentine's special}

Reverse Pathology – Redemption of the Playboy

“What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?”Maya’s patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.

Sanjay knew that she was serious,“Look Maya, there is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I’d say”

 “Flirting?Healthy flirting?Really Sanjay…”

She rolled her eyes in disgust. “That’s what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for married man. Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extra marital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it. She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, “Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?”

Sanjay was a taken aback at such sudden confrontation. His face became ashen. Anyone could decipher he was hiding something under those looks even though he was trying hard to cover up the whole dram in front of grand spectators at Aditya’s office, where he worked under him as his PR.

“Oh! My God! You are his wingman. Where is my husband?”She was literally screaming, holding his collars.

“Didn’t I tell you, he is in the meeting with his publishers?” He was fumbling with words, sweat droplets condensing over his phizog

“Where…? She was furious and she was not going to settle for anything less than the truth.

“It’s an official meeting. Hotel Blue Lagoon…Room number 3124.”

“She is with him?”

“I don’t think so…”

Diplomacy was not a candy that she was ready to savor. Without another word she just barged out of the room.

It took him three seconds to run analysis of what just happened and without wasting the fourth, he immediately reached for his mobile and speed dialed the most frequently digit-ed number, “She is on her way… and she knows you are with him.”

By the time Meera reached the hotel, Aditya had clear the crime scene. She could find nothing except official paperwork and few men in ties. Without a word she left again.

“Aditya that was close. Maybe there is no next time to place these rented pawns. You need to come out clean, so just stop all this shitty affairs of yours.”

“Some people are born with golden spoon, I, on other hand, with a golden luck. My every dart is destined to hit the bull’s eye. And this thing with Shreya is a business deal. It’s her brain and my money and look what I am getting in returns, a co-authors designation, free sex and once the book is out, it will add gains to my treasury and reputation. It’s cheaper than hiring a prostitute for a night.”

“What about Meera? Her suspicious is growing like weeds. If she finds something substantial against you, she won’t give a second thought to bring you down.”

“Meera is a foolish woman. She couldn’t figure out my ulterior motives, when I proposed her for marriage. It wasn’t love but her daddy bank accounts that got me betrothed to her. A sentimental apology and two big tears dilute these girls and in no time they return to your bedroom.”

“I don’t think it’s going to work this time, she is a furious injured lioness now.”

“Sanjay, that’s a conundrum for you, to crack. That’s why I pay you big bucks, to save my apple pie ass.” 

Sanjay played millions roles for Aditya, he was his mayday man, a true friend and a hired servility. And Sanjay too had shown his untainted loyalty towards him and like always, he again found an escape route for Aditya.

Aditya’s every rendezvous with Shreya was so skillfully planned that every time he was with Shreya, there was strong alibi vouching his presence at other place. Moreover he was able to spend quality time with Meera too, all because of Sanjay’s genius plan and hence diluting away her suspicion. 

Aditya was on the happiest place on the planet enjoying every pleasure life could offer him. He revel the love of two women, his wife and his mistress and a big success was on cards, once his book with Shreya is released. Everything was snowboarding until one day his fate went somersaulting. His perfect health records started to show a marked, perceptible and susceptible downfall. Nothing could stay in his guts for more than two seconds. Every time he eat he had to necessarily take a loo break and sometimes even a jiffy delay to judge the nature’s call would drag him on verge of wearing diapers.

He was losing hairs, muscles, skin tone, weight and gait. His once handsome phizog started to wrinkle and his stern and broad chest started to dwindle, making his nipples prominently twinkle.  He ran from pillar to post, to every renowned specialist, got every laboratory investigation done and got himself scanned from head to toe only to find his testosterones level plummeting to season’s low and his sperms were dying the inglorious embarrassing death for no reason at all. Some said it was thyroid, some thought its autoimmune lupus and some vouched for the probability of ambush nefarious tumor but none of them were sure.

And once altered medicines too shut doors at his face he was train wretched.

Because of his condition, he had shut himself in his office. His social life had ended a brutal death and only his closed alliances were permitted to enter his solitude dwellings.

During one such day, when he sat, closed doors in his office living his life on the remnant of the memories of his hay days, Sanjay barged in, “Aditya, look at you. Man, you need to get out of this exile.”

“I can’t Sanjay…”

“Yes you can, the Aditya I knew would never say no…”

“Look Sanjay we already had this conversation and I am in no mood for your psyche counseling. If you want those papers in your hand signed by me, just get it done and leave me alone.”

“What papers? Oh! This, it’s nothing but mere stupidity. You see, this astrologer has taken city by rave. He vouches his credentials to solve people’s problems and guess what he is successful in conning half the city’s population. And this virus has started to affect our staff too, mutating them into babbling band of buffoons who are literally singing poses of his praise. I just snatched this flier from one of them.”

“Can I have a look at it Sanjay?”

“Of course, you too can amuse yourself.”

Suddenly Sanjay’s cellular started to beep and he had to leave to attend to some urgent business. In the virtual absence of Aditya, Sanjay was the busy man.

Next day when Aditya came to the office, he was beaming with smile. He was buoyancy over his depressive self. He even intercom Sanjay to meet him in his office.

“My God! Aditya, you look like a different man today. Who got you under his spell? ”

“Your charlatan.”

“Excuse me!”

“Sanjay you are my lucky charm. You are the one who brought Meera and Shreya in my life and ambrosia to my parched soul. I am grateful to almighty that I have you in my life.”

“Don’t tell me, you went to meet that man?”

“Yes, I did!”

“Oh God! Aditya. Man of your knowledge could also stumble in this pitfalls, I could never believe it. I knew you are vulnerable but then at least you could have put a better use of your IQ.”

“Sanjay, you have no idea of what I am suffering from. I am going to do, whatever it takes, whatever I need to trade, to get out of this inferno, even if it means to sign a deal with the devil. So just stop getting so judgmental. At least he gave me a road man to recovery.”

“And your treasure map says…” Sanjay was still curious and furious.

“Karma is a bitch and it’s screwing with me.”

“I am sorry, come again…”

“It’s a simple equation Sanjay. Have you heard the story of king Midas? The man who loved gold so much that he prayed that everything he touched would turn into that shiny metal. When his wish was granted he rejoiced until he realized that he couldn’t eat because his food had turned into gold too.”

“So…”

“I am the king Midas. To turn everything to gold I compromised my morals and now all those collected bad karma’s are behind me firing my rare.”

“What shall I call it, awakening of Buddha? Are you going to start a religion now?”

 “It’s not funny Sanjay…”

“It is! What are you going to do, give away your boom and reverse your fortune?”  Sanjay was irritated by Aditya’s childish prattle .

“Exactly!”

“Excuse me, are you are planning to give away your treasury to Prime Minister Relief funds?”

“Not precisely but I am definitely going to do charity, I have it all figure out.”

According to Aditya, charity begins at home therefore to straighten his karmic records, he gave away seventy percent of his company shares to Meera and rest thirty percent he put under Sanjay’s name. He pulled off his name as a co-author from Shreya’s book and gave her full credits to her work. He returned every penny he took from the universe.

“Are you sure of what you are doing?” Sanjay had his doubts.

“Of course, look, I am smarter than king Midas. He was a fool who ultimately gave away his boom. I am baffling universe by renunciation of my gold but in reality, it’s still under my account with my own people. I can claim my right over it whenever I want.”

“If that’s what you want, please sign these papers Aditya.”

“I think I completed all the formalities yesterday.”

“These are the leftovers, I forgot about. Please go through them once, Aditya.”

“You have read them, just give me the pen. Anyways, I don’t even have time; I have to catch the flight. Thanks for your suggestion. Six months in hills of Himalayas in that ashram you booked for me, will help in my speedy recovery.”

Once Aditya was through autographing those papers he got up and before he was about to leave, he hugged Sanjay, “Thank you to have my back. I really appreciate.”

It was awkward for Sanjay but he still went with the flow for sake of sick man but when the embrace prolonged for more than ten seconds, he said, “I hope your ailment didn’t induce alter sexuality in you.”

Aditya immediately left him, “Hey, I am not gay, it’s just a platonic hug.”

“You never hugged me earlier.”

“Yes I do.”

“No Aditya you never, anyways get well soon.”

For six months Aditya was out of picture from the material world, no links attached, not even a phone call. He trusted Sanjay to look after his worldly affairs. The mountain air indeed work wonders for him, he was pink again. He got back his weight and gaits and most importantly his virility. He was able to have those wet fantasies again and at that time he knew it was the time to return to his planet again to reclaim his lost kingdom. He bid adieu to the world of simplicity and was happy to come to his homeland only to uncurtain the evil fate that waited for him.

Once he returned to his office he got the ultimate shock of his life, he had lost everything in the bet of his health. His most trusted alliances, his friend Sanjay, his wife Meera and his lover Shreya had joined hands and formed Third Rich against him. The paradox of his life was that he had already with his own hands signed away his fortune under their names. Moreover with his treasury he also had signed off his amicable divorce settlement with Meera, accordingly to which he had no right over her single penny.

Shreya book was also out and it was a rave. Unexpectedly it did have a mention of him in the book as her mentor but it was more or less like an obituary note. His health issues were made public and he was posed in the light of ragged philosopher who had lost his sanity and renunciated everything and went to Himalayas. He was yet another monk, who sold his Ferrari.
In six months time, they were able to reduce him to long lost memory.

“You drew the dagger in my back; you think you all will get away with it. If it was not because of my sickness you won’t have been able to raise your hoods.”

“We can take credit for your undiagnosed misery, too.” Meera chuckled

“Oh Yes! Laxatives were Sanjay’s idea and estrogen, progesterone and prolactin, the cockpit of female hormones  that killed your sperms and blossom your bosom were Meera’s and my branded hair removal creams that became the important integrant of your shampoo’s was clearing the pitch of your head smoothly. So tell me, which one you like the best?”

“You nefarious bitches, how could you?”Aditya lost his temper and leapt towards them.

But Sanjay intervene, “Hey you have already lost your sanity in front of the world, do you want us to call the cops that they force you to the asylum?”

“Why? ….Why?” Aditya was almost in tears.

“Can’t you see Aditya, I am a victim wife, her husband cheated on her.”  Meera replied.

“And I was a mistress, cheaper than a prostitute.” Shreya shrugged in.

And then Aditya looked at Sanjay to hear his explanation. “Oh! It’s my turn now. I am gay and jealous. I lost you to these women, twice.” Sanjay blurted out.

“Seriously !” Rest of the three retaliated in chorus.

“No, Of course not! I was done being treated as your ass wiper Aditya. You never treated me like a friend so it was easy for me to trade you for the money. But if it gives you some solace you were most expensive fish to catch, the astrologer set up and then your five star Himalaya’s stay. We didn’t compromise in quality although we have to shove away lots of dough. We got the best conman to trick you with his charms and made sure you could have no whiff of our scam in mountains.”

“It was a ploy to deploy you of your mojo.” Shreya concluded it in writer’s justice.

“You think, you our done destroying me. I will return and destroy you all.” Aditya roared.

“Honey, we have given you redemption here, even though we have to force it through your throat but if you tried to return back to our lives, you won’t get another chance to breathe again. I hope you have learned your lessons, King Midas.” Meera roared back.