PUNCH LINES

                  PUNCH  LINES

Delhi –ites are famous for their pompous style statements and the best place to see it is on the rare glass of their cars. These punch lines describe them through and through from their core attitude and aptitude to their innermost feel.

You see all the variety running from standard ones like religious symbols, holy book quotes, Guru –mantras, their kids name, their own names or the attitude filled funky, attention drawing, sometimes {or I must say most of the times} inappropriate tag lines {especially the men}.

See here is the result of my one week exercise finding these unusual, eye grabbing punch lines and running my imagination to draw out the picture of their thinkers. I have classified them into classes on the basis of the punch lines. Since, with my limited data I could only come up with three such strata, as follows.

CLASSIFICATION OF DELHI – ITES

ROAD SIDE ROMEO

They are the class of people who have their heart at the sleeves of their shirt and are always ready to give it away at every chance they get. They cover the maximum population density of Delhi and guess what they happen to be, in 99% of cases boys. Here are few examples of punch lines used by them at rare glasses of their cars.

Check this out......

“Soni kuriyanu jhoote toatally free of cost ji”

It’s a Punjabi quote meaning, “Only the pretty girls can ride in this car totally free of cost”

It was written behind a Land Rover car.

“Speed thrills,

Patience kills.

Don’t honk, especially when I drive,

Only pretty girls can ask for ride.”

This attitude message was engraved on the rare mirror of Swift Dzire

“What is life?

Life is love.

What is love?

Love is kissing.

What is kissing?

Come here girls,

I will show you how it’s done........”

This poetry was behind i- 20.

PROMINENT  FACIAL  FEATURES  OF  THESE  ROMEO’S {in general, not in particular}

Red, moistened, fuller center of upper lips

Remarkable length of eyes from inner angle to outer angle

Small eyes

“VANITY – FAIR”  TYPES

They are that category people who blow horn of their achievement on the roof top and make sure each and every one they know should know about their “so- called accomplishments”, just not one time but millions and millions times. They are the people over flowed with self love and full of vanity.

Check this out......

When surd started the culture of writing

“Singh is King”,

Why shall other communities remain behind?

 Check this out......

“ROYAL  GOYAL”

“MIGHTY  MITTAL’S”

“GREAT  WALL  AGGARWAL”

Another blow horn acronym,

“Don’t trust anyone!

Just trust me,

I am a lawyer.”

It was behind Cheverlet Cruz CIZ.

PROMINENT  FACIAL  FEATURES  OF  THESE  BLOW HORNERS

 {in general, not in particular}

Protruding {slight} above the upper lip, appreciated while observing the face laterally

Big eyes

Fuller lips and well formed cheeks

Dimpled chin or dimpled cheeks

Muscular body type  

Tip of the nose pointing downwards

“HUMBLE AND MODEST”  TYPES

They are the grounded, down to earth type people even after their prodigious achievements

Check this out......

“INDIAN ARMY – NATION FIRST”

Written behind TATA Indigo.

“My dad will always be engraved in my heart”

PROMINENT  FACIAL  FEATURES  OF  THESE  HUMBLE TYPES

 {in general, not in particular}

Remarkable distance between the center of the nose to the center of upper lip

Remarkable length of upper lip

Broad nose, broad nasal bridge

Appreciable length of the nose

Muscle filling between the eyebrows

Long spotless and refined skin

Good density of hair on eyebrows and head

MORAL

“It’s only words, words all I have, to take your heart away”

THE WRINKLES

                                  THE WRINKLES

There is a cosmetic revolution in today’s world. The adage like “to age gracefully” have become a scum. Cosmetics brands are revolutionizing market with anti- aging creams, wrinkle preventive ointment and what not, to conceal away the deep furrows which hide the deepest secrets and fables of the experienced life.

THE WOMAN WITH THE WRINKLES

But there are few, untouched by the these ointments and anti-aging creams, whose “all tell” face pour out the sufferings and struggles of life through these deep lanes on the spotless face.

PAKISTAN

The story starts forty years back with the birth of a baby girl in the big Hindu family residing in the Sind area of Pakistan. The family already have eight kids and she was the ninth and the youngest of all her siblings.

With her five sisters and two brothers she started to nurture in the rustic land under the fear and revulsion. Pakistan is an orthodox Muslim country where the Hindu families live in fright. Her education was very limited as she was not allowed to regularly go to school due to frequent curfews in the area {which is very common phenomenon in Pakistan as well as the Jammu and Kashmir region in India}.

For eighteen years she lived a suffocated life in Pakistan with her other siblings. In the shadow of terror the basic confidence was not allowed to blossom and the girl even lost the power to voice her opinion and the faintest courage, if ever present vaporize with the passing years.

It was only when she was eighteen years old that her whole family got an opportunity to migrate to India. It is a very rare case, only few lucky ones can get through it. It so happened, her eldest brother’s wife acquaintance were very well settled in India and they were planning to expand their business and require man power for it. This opportunity came as their only escape route and her father grabbed it with both hands.

Three of her sister who were married in Pakistan, stayed over there and the rest of the family moved to Sonipat, India.

INDIA

Across the border the Hindu family of the girl came with new hope and dreams of better future, but since when the life have been easy for few. The business was going awesome, but suddenly the business men felt that new people were not needed anymore.

Again, they were left abandoned, but this time on the streets of India. They came to Delhi with all the meager savings they have.

If all the doors in life are closed, the all kind lord always and always leave one of them open. They had this guru living in a Gurudware, “Majnu ka Tilla” {it’s near Sir Mukherjee nager, Delhi} and he invited them to live there till they could arrange any other accommodation.

The girl father and brothers tried hard to meet the both ends meet for their big family. The girl on the other hand mute about her basic right to be human being was over burden with work from her sister – in – laws. All she did whole day was the chores around the whole length and breath of the gurudware.

Her other sister was married while they were in Sonipat and out of all her siblings she was left to settle. Her parents were aging fast with the hardships and all the uncertainty surrounding their future. The boys of the family became more concerned about their small niche and the happiness of their youngest sister was slowly and slowly fading away from their memory. Only her father and mother were fretting about her life.

Sometimes the god himself come and makes ways for innocent but deliberately mute people. The one of the devotee family coming to the guru who had the boy of marriageable age and were bride hunting for him. The guru talked to them about the girl from the Pakistan. The families met and the truth was shared and by the grace of god, they instantly clicked on.

 They got married on 6^th December. The boy was good and talented but was the eldest among his seven siblings, hence burden with lots and lots of responsibility. The girl left the big family and entered into another big one. Being meek and mute, here also she was taken undue advantage of and was burden with loads of work. So the whole day what she did was work and only work.

Her husband tried hard and settled all his siblings, but got the shock of his life, when one of them shattered his trust and stabbed him in the back. Life was never easy on that girl ever. Because of the discoid the relationship became sour and the man left his home with his wife and that time two daughters {although she have three daughters} to start the life anew.

They struggled hard, very hard and were ultimately able to stand themselves, but everything has a price and they paid that with their youth. They have no record how those years of their life flew away when they were suppose to enjoy their marriage and birth of their kids. All that is left are deep furrow lanes of early wrinkles and a medical records {the man is suffering from hypertension and diabetes mellitus II and the woman have fluctuating blood pressure, sometimes high and sometimes low and osteoarthritis}.

DECIPHERING WRINKLES OF THE GIRL FROM PAKISTAN

Deep furrows running parallel to each other on the forehead and appears on slightest moment of forehead and sometimes appear to be there always – sign of weakness

Several fine oblique Wrinkles on side of the nose – indicates petty nature

Wrinkles formed along with the fold of flesh above the outer angle of the eyes – patience {patience to all her suffering}

Wrinkles obliquely outward and downward to outer angle of eyes – mirthful wrinkles or also called laughter lines {don’t be surprise, though life haven’t given her much opportunities to be gay about but she in the process of living learned to laugh over her miseries and therefore have those laughter lines}

MORAL

“Even though my lips are tight and sealed,

The story of my life is still revealed.”

 PRAYER 

Belated happy anniversary to the couple and praying there happily ever after from now, may never ever be interrupted forever.

COPY CAT

                                  COPY CAT

“Boys go to various extents to impress their lady love, some get their lady’s name tattooed, and some do daring deeds for them. They are full of surprises and won’t fail to take any opportunity to impress.” These are the lines from the girl who have been chased by different types of boy with their different personified charisma.

ESTRANGE BOY, STRANGE WAYS

It started when the girl took admission in the college. The girl with the exceptional beauty, fair complexion, spotless skin and hour glass figure was a complete package of lethal attraction. On and off she gets random proposals from different genera of boys and those who can’t verbally make their moves didn’t leave any stone unturned to display their chivalrous male ego to flatter the girl.

So here she tells me the story of verbally mute guy, who gave her full on signals to express her love.

The boy, moderately build, fair complexion with the height 5’8” studied in the same class as the girl; moreover they travelled in the same cab from home to college.

For couple of months it started as the normal introduction between the strangers but slowly and slowly the boy’s stares became intense and the girl started to feel uncomfortable. Where ever she went in the college premise she usually found boy in her five yard radius.

She didn’t say anything as he has never gone verbal. She just tried to let it go. But to her utter surprise, when the stare methodology didn’t work, he stepped one step forward.

 He started to copy her wardrobe colors. Whatever color she wore on the day, the next day the guy entered the college wearing the same color combinations. At first she thought it was co – incidental but after thorough observation, she concluded it was not, in fact it was the “COPY – CAT” plan of the boy. It continued for months and months.

It was only when the girl started wearing all pink color dresses, that boy abandoned the “copy - cat” plan. At first he tried very hard to replace his wardrobe with the girlish color, but as the mocking among his peers started to annoy him, his will started to fade away.

Even after all this gimmicks, he didn’t go verbal. Either he was scared or a refusal was too much for his male ego to settle with, it wasn’t clear to the girl.

I asked the girl, whether she would have consider him, if he would have directly approached her? She had a very diplomatic reply.

She said that may be or maybe not. She explained that, if you have any wish in your heart you should at least give it a try; you never know, may be it turned out to be your lucky day. I wasn’t clear with her answer, so I again asked.

“He was the nice and descent guy, no vices, except he stared me a lot. He was little fat but still considerable. Seriously doctor, I don’t know how I would have retorted in case if he approached me, but as such I had nothing against him. It could have been a yes for namesake, but later on these things did not matter at all. But as they say “all wells, that ends wells”, so it ended as happy ending, but not the same scenario what the boy wished. Completely anti – climax.” She answered.

PHRENOLOGY OF THE GUY WITH COPY CAT PLAN

Low confidence / lack of executive power – convex nose, sparse hair in eyebrows

Self will – muscle filling between the two eyebrows

Obstinate and firmness in following her plan – broad chin and slightly protruding

Lack of ideas and imprudent plans – small nostrils and small eyes

Friendly – globose cheek formation

Secretive {his sun sign is scorpion, by nature they are secretive} – thin upper lip, slightly overlapped by the lower lip

“ALL WELLS, ENDS WELLS”

The girl was always accompanied with her friend where ever she goes in the college. The regular staring of the guy, created a mix-up between the girl’s best friend. She began to think that those glares from the guy were for her. The girl wasn’t affected at all, but her friend was smitten away from the ground.

For the girl’s friend the guy became the brave knight in the shining armor and she started dreaming about him. This time the girl’s friend proximity made the boy uncomfortable in his skin. But she was more determined in her endeavors than the boy’s copy – cat plans.

She stood up firmly and boldly and made herself very clear to the boy and directly proposed him.

At first boy used her to jealous the girl of her choice, but when this plan also fell flat, he ultimately gave up to the demands of the girl who proposed her.

Finally they both got married this year in the love month, February.

Our girl is still single and ready to mingle, on groom hunting, but she doesn’t regret giving that boy a miss. All she says smiling, “couples are made in heaven, he was definitely not my guy”.

MORAL

“Couples are made in heaven and definitely there is someone for everyone and a full proof god’s best plan awaits them to meet.”

RANACORA- THE RUNNING MAN

 RANACORA- the running man

Ranacora is one of the names of Lord Krsna. Ranacora means “the one who leaves the battle field without fighting”. Why is then lord name with such abominable name then? There happens to be a story behind it as told in tenth canto of “srimad bhagvatam”.

It so happened, that there was king Jarasandha who beard enmity towards Lord Krsna. He declared war against the Lord. He was defeated seventeen times by Lord Krsna, each time merciful Lord forgiving his detestable deeds and each time the foolish king gearing up again with increase power and rage declared combat against the Lord.

Eighteenth time when the Lord and king faced each other in the battlefield, that suddenly Lord left the battle field without a fight. The king thought that he scared away the Lord krsna. Why did the Lord left showing the back in the battlefield when he had potential to kill all the demons of the world with just blink of the eye?

It was the letter of Srimati Rukmani Devi, which made the Lord to leave the battlefield. Rukmani devi was forced to get married to king Sisupal by her brother, although she has lost her heart to Lord Krsna and harbored the wish to have him as her husband. As her wedding day neared, she became anxious and wrote a letter to the Lord pouring her heart to him. After knowing the condition of Srimati Rukmani Devi, the lord didn’t waste another moment and immediately abandoned the battlefield and rush to rescue of love of his life.

Lord Krsna made his priority very clear, as for love, he even accepted to be called Ranacore.

THE STORY OF MODERN DAY RANACORE

The story starts two years back, when a promising young lad in his final year of school suddenly felt a need to have a girlfriend. He thought since it was the last year of the school, a small fling with any girl won’t be harmful at all, as the subsequent year even he doesn’t know in which engineering college he is going to land, may be out of his home town. So according to his strategy, no harm would be fall on him.

With the game plan he jumped in the fling market and after a small research work zeroed on the seemingly harmless, innocent and but very beautiful girl {in boyish language the girl was total “pataka”}.

Boy was handsome, charming and with biceps, triceps and abs, therefore had no difficulty completing his mission.

First two months were like as if he have been transported to seventh heaven, the breeze was pleasant and cool {even in month of scorching May and June}, the tress around were more green and flowers seemed to have blossomed everywhere {even though everything have shriveled due to heat} and nightingales seemed to be singing for him {though every day in the newspaper it stated that the noise pollution was making a new decibels record}.

The next two months were also good. When you get used to happiness, it starts to lose its meaning. The class bunks, hanging out in the malls, first day first show movies, whole night phone talks, all seemed to become common hence were losing their mojo of excitement plus hampering the studies, health and ambition of the promising young lad. But still the fling went fine.

The major trouble started from the subsequent two months when the boy started to feel the pressure of his studies and how much he had sagged back. He did some soul searching and with determination started with a new study plan to win the race. This new study plan required his full concentration and attention, so more time in library, less bunk, more coaching classes, minimal hangouts, late night studies and proper night sleep and a switched off mobile phone whole night.

This made the girl insecure. She started accusing of adultery. He tried to explain her, but the beautiful face was not ready to hear or understand anything. All hell broke loose, when she created a scene in front of his peers in school library. He was just talking to a girl from his class regarding his studies. But that proximity didn’t go well with her girl and she started wining, accusing and crying on top of her voice.

 He tried to explain her, but all his words went down the deaf ears. It was too embarrassing for him that for next week he couldn’t make himself to attend the school. When he came back after a week, the first thing he saw entering the school was smiling face of his girl. It increased his misery many folds and aired the dormant rage monster in him.

The last straw to her relationship came when the girl gave him the do and don’t list which included hundreds of rules for him. That was it, with the seemingly harmless beautiful face; the boy thought and finally broke up with her.

Boy thought that now his all troubles are over and he should concentrate in his studies. Once over is always over was his philosophy, but it proved drastically wrong. The girl started to stalk him. Where ever he went she followed him as the shadow.

She even came to her home, talked to his mother, father and sister, even the neighbors pouring out her plight that she suffered because of that boy. She didn’t left any stone unturned defaming the boy at his neighborhood, coaching classes, in his peers, even the distant acquaintances. It went very ugly. {I have been asked to omit the details of the event by the boy, so feel free to run the horses of your imagination, what would have been misery of the boy}

Bereft of the entire social circle, left alone in this world and cursing the day he decided for a fling, he made another crucial resolution and made sure it didn’t turn out to be a blunder.

He studied very hard and ultimately scored a good in his boards as well as was able to crack all the entrance exams he applied for. He got admission in a good college in his hometown, but instead he chose the college far far away from his hometown. He took admission in Bangalore to get as far away from his monstrous ex- girlfriend. He did it all as a covert operation as no one came to know till he left the city.

He ran away from his girlfriend, away from his shadow, where she could never reach him. And for past one year since his admission he has not even once headed home for vacation. His parents plead him to come back for few days but he is very firm not to come back. I don’t know for how long he won’t come back. He has become a RANACORE.

PHRENOLOGY OF MODERN DAY RANACORE

Intelligent – broad forehead

Executive qualities – hairy head, convex nose, broad nasal ridge

Amative and licentious – small eyes, remarkable distance between the inner and outer angles of eyes, full and moist and protruding center of upper lip

Firm and dominant – broad chin and angular jaw

Lack of modesty – small distance between nasal septum and the center of upper lip

Secretive – {as he successfully hatched the plan to be ranacore} – small eyes, thin upper lip

Self will - muscle filling between the two eyebrows

MORAL

Girlfriends like these, make their boys run away so very very fast,

These boys will, one day bring home medals, competing Olympics race tasks.